A
female
age
36-40,
*utterfly_911
writes: me and my boyfriend we've been together since 7 years but we have some fights in the middle but lately we had alot of fights and im afraid that i feel we are loosing eachother i love him and he loves me but i feel that he dosent care anymore i feel unrespected and his work is first and his father then me in the end of his list what can i do to bring the heat back to our realationship im so scared plzz help meee.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, On Cloud9  +, writes (20 September 2007):
 I read this and is brought back feelings similar to my own, with my current partner, whom I have been with for 10 years. It was just after our 8th year and I, like you began to get this very strong feeling that I was losing him. We were arguing more but at that time we were having really bad arguments. We were very distant and it was at a family wedding that I noticed that something had gone between us. I can't explain it but I just sensed that he was pulling away, well actually that he had already pulled away.
To cut a long story short, 2 weeks after this wedding, he told me that he had fallen out of love with me and that he wanted to finish with me. I was heartbroken and asked him if he would consider counselling. Thankfully he agreed and we started talking. Counselling does not work for everyone but I would highly recommend it - it worked for me.
I learnt the reasons behind why we were having so many arguments and generally we got a different perspective on things that were distroying our relationship bit by bit.
I must tell you that after a few sessions he admitted that he was just very depressed at the time of wanting to finish it with me and that feeling of depression overwhelmed him and he mistook it for falling out of love with me.
I understand your pain at this time but I think you could do well with some counselling to understand your relationship and if you don't fancy that there are some good books out there, such as staying together by relate.
I sincerely wish you well and if you want to talk more just mail me x
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (20 September 2007):
 If I were you I would cool things a little with him and give him no pressure whatsoever. It may be he's worried about his father. Ask him if there's anything you can do to help him or even suggest you both take his father out for a meal somewhere. The fights you're having might be due to pressure on his part, whether this is pressure of work or personal problems only he knows. Just concentrate on being friendly and a pleasure for him to be around and I'm sure he'll open up more and be more loving to you too.
Eve
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