A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:here is a little back ground:I have been sleeping with a very good guy friend for almost a year now. at first it was something that happend when we were drunk! every once in a while and i didn't think much of it. and was like well he is a friend that is it. but months later i found that i had much stronger feelings for him than i would like. and sex happend weekly without drinking. the strange thing is that we really never talked about it.and i began getting really jealous when other girls are around. anyways at the begining of the year i got fed up and told him we have to stop everything cause I was really falling for him. he said he was too. but nothing came out of it. and we ended up sleeping together again. after a week of no sex..well on my part. and this last time he used a condom until i questioned him about it? so i don't know what to think about that : seing that we stopped using them a while ago. I really care for him and I said what i had to. but I don't know what to do.. some one give me some advice please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): I think a year of having a friends with benefit relationship has been too long, what it has done is effectively taken you off the market because you have eyes only for him, and he gets to have his cake and eat it too, he does not have to put forth the effort of a relationship, can treat you like a sexual doormat and be free to actually pursue dating relationships with other women....the only way you are going to find out what his feelings are made of at this late date is to break it off with him completely, the friendship, the sex everything and start asking for and expecting the kind of relationship you want. Tell him that your expectations have now changed, that you no longer want to be convenient as a shirt pocket, but want to be his exclusive girlfriend, my guess is he does not want this from you or he would have asked for it a long time ago. That said, you are hurting yourself by continuing for the sex.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): All I can say is you need to find a way that you guys have open honest communication. If you guys are able to be so intimate sexually, why can't you guys talk about anything? If it turns out that he really does want a relationship with you, then i still don't think you guys are in the clear. The fact that you guys built your relationship on sex doesn't seem very healthy. Maybe you guys could start over. Pretend you are dating in a new relationship. Pretend you are in high school again. whatever you need to. just focus on having a great time together. go on real dates, but give sex a rest for a few weeks. i know that is a hard thing to do.
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A
female
reader, Xstefx  +, writes (23 January 2007):
 to be honest, i dont think he has feelings for you at all, i just think he didnt want to lose you as a "special friend" seriously you need to tell this guy where to go, he's no good for you. and you say he's no started using condoms? obviously he's had sex with someone else. this might sound hard, especially if you have feelings for him, but he doesnt sound like the type of guy you would want to have a relationship withgood luck~*~ S ~*~
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