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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,I'm not sure if anyone here has heard or been to these biker rallys but this is where my b/f is going and here is what I have to say:I have been together with my b/f for about 2 years. I know you are supposed to trust but i feel its hard depending on the environment your s/0 is in..wouldn't you feel a little something(even the slightest bit) if they were going to mexico for a week without you for spring break or something? Here is my situation.My b/f rides a motorcycle and he likes going on a bike trip every year to places like myrtle beach where they have a rally..Its with a bunch of guys and usually some of the wives fly down...He says i dont belong on the back of a bike going cross country which i understand(it can be dangerous and its just he guys riding down BUT the wives meet them there)..And he also says he isnt going to spend an extra $1000 for me to come just so i am there to know what is going on. He really just doesnt want me to come on this thing..he wants it to be his own or something(this is not what he said but from the view i am getting and i dont know if that is a red flag that he doesnt want me going and i know this place isnt disney land for family) He was saying--well then you are gonna have to fly back home and get back from the airport etc etc etc.Anyway, i feel these places are for people to hook up and not just look at the bikes or to ride. Its definitely not a weekend of just hunting or fishing like some guys trips are. I feel insecure about it. Of course i tell him these things and he says things to reassure me and says i know what i am going there for and thats not it.. Here is link of what some of the girls do and look like: (Warning: nudity involved)if u arent offended by scantily clad women:http://www.daytonabikeweekevents.co...006/misc/h1.htmFor anyone reading this post--if you look online and type in pictures of bike rallys for sturgis or daytona or myrtle beach--you will eventually come across these very hot women who work there and also women who walk around in bikini tops etc etc and pretty much close to nothing..and i can't imagine what the bars are like at night..there are pics of women topless as well. Even if you really want to get an idea..some sights are just dedicated to videos of these girls doing pervocative things at the bars and outside as well such as wet t shirt contests being held etc. I am sure--this is not ALL he sees but i am sure it will be a lot and i can't help but just feel uneasy about it. Is this the type of an environment he should be going in? I hope someone does look up these pictures and tell me what they think. Alot of older people do seem to go and doesnt necessarily consist of just people in their 20's. (my b/f is 29) and some of the women looked washed up but some look like they are there to hook up and just be wild and a lot of drinking goes on. He says he isnt going to not go and he will go on these every year until he sells it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2007): Listen lady I've been on bikes for 40 years {and of a few ouch} anyway I go on rallies and gatherings here in England and yeah there are tons of girls there and yep often nearly naked and what the hell I look as do thousands of others. The girls want to be looked at {quite right too} but thats as far as it goes we men are lookers and the girls are showoffs. Your guy will do the same then he's gonna come home to you and you are going to be pleased he's had a great time. you ain't gonna quiz him as that will piss him off but give him a kiss and cuddle go for a take away have a few beers and I bet a by the end of the night he'll be all over you like a sack of fleas. "OR" you can have a row. Your choice but he'll still go again and next time may be thinking of more than looking
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits the one who posted the question
anyone look at the links?
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (23 January 2007):
 Is the problem with him having fun? Going away with his mates? Or because there is a wet t shirt contest or two?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): He sounds short sighted and he doesn't even listen to you very well. You aren't reassured so this to me, being I am female; signifies he isn't listening and isnt' want to help reassure and solve your issue.
Bottom line, you dont' want him to go as you should matter and come first and you should be happy. That he is going and not listening to you and not putting you first...you are unhappy.
Right?
So is this something you can survive? Is this something that should he go regardless of you telling him how you feel about it and what it is doing to you and the whys of it all...are you prepared to have this eat you up as he made a ME decision instead of a WE decision.
If a man is going to be intimate with a woman, and declares her his woman or his gf...then with it comes the responsibility of making her happy and meeting her needs be it emotionaly, financial, physical, mental.
This is a unspoken given or at least...I believe most men and women want companionship and a loving, lasting relationship.
What your BF is telling you is that he gets to do what he wants regardless of how you feel or think and you are just going to have to be happy with it and accept it.
He's told you plain out.
So, what are you going to do?
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A
female
reader, pink fraggle +, writes (23 January 2007):
 I think you are being way too selfish!!! So you would never dream of going to a hen night with strippers! Trust i think is the right word to use and you dont seem to have much of it. There are skimpy clothed women where ever you go just because its a bike rally doesnt mean their better women! Give him his space else you'll find yourself on your own. if he loves you and says he just wants to go for the biking then thats all he'll want. if he wanted a fling he'll get one anyway not just at a rally.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 January 2007):
 I don't know what you can do about this, he doesn't want you to go. He's going to go so you'll just have to trust him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): Hmmmmm... im sure we are in really different positions and all, cuz im at college, but it seems like youre in a similar kind of place emotionally!! Try asking your bf WHY exactly he doesnt want you to go with him. If you can ask him that in a non confrontational kind of way, just be really open and willing to hear what he has to say, then he will be more honest with you. Also, how do you feel about him being in a strip club etc...? even if he isnt directly involvd with getting dances etc...?
Basically, if you are comfortable with it, and you trust him, let him go have his space, if thats what he really needs. Otherwise, if he knows that youre really ok with it, maybe he will be thrilled to have you along, because then he can go out with the boys and have you there too, and do all th lad stuff, but have his own girl to go home with... the best of both worlds!!!
Good luck!!!
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