A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a morale dilemma. I'm single mum of one (38) with a 20 year old daughter.I work with a really cute guy whose 25 and made a pass at me on a works night out. I felt flattered but turned him down as I am his boss.A few weeks on, my daughter tells me she has met a terrific guy, one evening he arrived to pick her up. I recognised the car, it was the 25 year old man who works under me and had made the pass.It made me incredibly hot knowing I could have him and I knew I was his original choice, my daughter was his choice second choice. He had no idea we are mother and daughter, things at work got quite intense between us and I couldn't help myself after a late drunken night out, we ended up in bed together.I know he is still seeing my daughter, although he hasn't told me, and I'm still seeing him. I should never have got in this situation but I want him so much it hurts. What should I do? Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): She is your flesh and blood.Many men will come and go and I know he will go from you,your daughter is so precious don't even think about it.I am a mom of three daughters they are my life.I am older than you and have made mistakes trust me put your daughter first and yourself last,you gave birth to her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): You know what is so sad is that your in competition with your daughter. My mother did this to me when I was about 20 years old and she was about 36 years old. So to make a long story short she had sex with my boyfriend a few years ago because she said they were falling in love and she couldn't control her feelings for him. She never told me about the situation, I overheard the two of them talking and I confronted both of them and once I found out she tells me she is pregnant and the father was my boyfriend. Although, we are close today I still don't trust her around my new boyfriend and I will NEVER forgive her for what she did to me. Only good thing that came out of that dirty affair was my little brother who is now 3 years old. My mother has really turned her life around and she is finally acting like an adult instead of a child. Hopefully you can do the same thing.
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A
female
reader, Asherah  +, writes (24 August 2010):
This happened over two years ago so I hope it all worked out for the best. I hope that sleaze is out of both of your lives, I hope you daughter knows the truth and is on her way to recovery, and I hope you're in weekly therapy to deal with your extreme selfishness, immaturity, insecurity...this is really a pathetic and sick story. I would have thought the answer was obvious. You are first and foremost a mother. That means your daughter's happiness comes first.
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A
female
reader, kathi  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 Two years ago I found my mother's was very attracted and seduced my boyfriend/fiance in our bed, she left her see through nightgown! I had a gut feeling that something with up with you for the last 5 years but blew it off, because she is my mother!!! When my boyfriend confirmed my suspicions, I planned on never seeing her again, unfortunetly, when I told him I needed time away from both of them, he got upset and walked away.....the next morning I went to find him and tell him he was still my best friend and I wanted to talk about exactly what has been happing with her????? Rather, I found him dead near the cemetary....I freaked out----blamed myself, didnt talk to her for like a year and half, it took me a long time to get it together. Last year I met someone who looked a lot like him and we started dating and lived together until one day my mother calls and comes by and for about 6 months, behind my back was seeing him talking to him when I was out of town. I gave her a second chance to not do it again to me, she coulded help herself, I am her DAUGHTER she has no right to have me in her life ever again!!! I left his sorry ass and her "poor excuse of a mother" last October!!! havent talked to them----I allowed her and trusted him what to mess my head up again? I am almost 40, all I can say is I feel 7 and a dumb bitch I am for not seeing right through her again....my self esteem is shot ----I have been told I should be help my a therapist which I will but it is very expensive....All I can Say is you are so WRONG to be with someone so young that you got major issues.......you never deserved to have a daughter----I never ever confronted my mother about what I know because she would just deny it and I dont want to hear her lies!My boyfriend, I dont know what he was thinking --but obviously she was better in bed than I was.The best think you can do as a mother, now, realize you have a problem and tell your daughter BEFORE she finds out by him!!!!! or you dont have a daughter any more and she wont miss you like I dont miss mine.
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A
female
reader, ashleee.  +, writes (19 August 2008):
to be truthful if you were my mother id never forgive you
and why would u want someone who would do that to your daughter. no offence but who do u think you are. move on and get him out of you and your daughters lives, because if u dont u will loose her forever, if u want a quick fuck then go ahead but think about how u would feel if it happened to you. you would be discusted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): How do you figure you were his first choice if hadn't seen your daughter yet? I would tell her. But say, "before you ever brought him here, I was with him and you never thought she would ever meet meet this guy on your own" So, she can get rid of him and it wouldn't hurt her so much. And never do that again. My mother did that to me. Well, when I was a teenager 16-18, I was seeing this guy, she tried her damndest to ruin it, she did. Then after the break up tells me, "I slept with him and he said, I was better in bed than you." But, I never slept with him. That's probably the least worse thing she's ever done to me, we don't speak anymore, for another reasons. If you want your daughter to end up hating you, keep it up. She will!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): your a sad woman competing with your daughter over a quick bonk ...as soon as she finds out she will despise you for the rest of her life ,,,your mutton your daughter is lamb ,the 25 yr old bloke obviously prefers the younger version!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): I was in a bar in Palm Spring Ca and meet this older lady and we went to her house were I meet here daughter for the first time. wow what a knock out well we went to dinner and the movie came home had some wine and we to the pool. nices night now the mother is 48 and the daughter is 25 and I 35 I have sleeped with both and they know it. and here the kicker we are still together and have more fun then most couples. so be honest with your daughter. remember your not marry to him and she not either. So live, laugh and love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Wow you are a true slut and a backstabber to your daughter. I am 35 and wouldnt dream of sleeping with someone who is 25... you were not first choice, you were someone he wanted to F***. all young boys want to f*** an older women, it makes them feel like a big boy... you on the other hand are a total whore... I hope your daughter finds out and hates you forever you skank.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): There are a lot of guys who have fantasies of having sex with a mother-daughter combination, but I can't tell if this 25 y.o. man is one of those guys. Your daughter would probably be very hurt if she found out you had sex with your boyfriend, so you should probably tell him his GF is your daughter and end it right now. You should explain to your daughter what happened and hope she will understand and ask her to forgive you because you didn't know he was her boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 February 2008):
 As a mother , you should think of your daughters happiness first.You may have to give him up and this is a sacrifice which you have to make for your daughter's sake unless you want your daughter to disown you.
Whatever happens, it cannot be undone.You should stop seeing him .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): way to go irish!it just seems to me like you just want him now that your daughter has him. You know what they say forbbiden fruit is the sweetest but its just that FORBBIDEN. I'm sorry but I can't believe any mother would do this!-michael
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): Seriously tho lady, I think its pretty sad what you are doing! What exactly are you going to do when either he finds out she is your daughter or worse still your daughter finds out about you and him.I think you have serious thinking to do. Deep down you know whats right, step aside and let her get on with her life.
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female
reader, PAD +, writes (20 February 2008):
I have a 22 year old daughter and I would never do something like that to her. Attraction or not you just don't do it. How would you feel if the tables were turned? Do you honestly think that he won't end up telling her all about one day. Trust me he will and that will be the end of the mother-daughter relationship that you have.
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Dear female anonymous reader. How would you feel if your own mother shagged your boyfriend?????
Over the moon ?????? No I didn't think so!!!!!
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (20 February 2008):
Morale dilemma????? Huh!!!! you can't even spell the word "Moral"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (20 February 2008):
You have got to be the worst mother I have ever come across. You knew full well he is dating your daughter, yet you schemed your way into bed with him just because he flirted with you. Irish and all the other aunts are right, this sort of behaviour is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!
You have a lot of growing up to do, my daughter is only two years younger than your daughter and NEVER EVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS I WOULD DO SUCH A SHITTY THING LIKE THAT TO HER. I hope she finds out and ostracises you out of her life, as I think you have got to be the worst role model of a mother. Just typing this reply makes me feel sick to the stomach. I hope you are satisfied with yourself, you selfish, egocentric, sad, despicable and disgraceful hag.
I rest my case.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 February 2008):
 "What should I do?" "Help!" Not on your tin-type Babycakes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): Touche Irish!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): I say ENJOY yourself and keep having this incredible sex with him. He is at wrong for two-timing your daughter that is not your doing. Suppose you never caught drift that he was dating your daughter? You would still be doing him correct? Live and love. I bet it is very sweet as well doing something tabooish. Dont worry about these others hear with morals they only look at one way. Enjoy, love him as often as you desire.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): Thank you. I now know any little issues which I ever had with my mother, have disolved because of you.
Thank you, shit I love my mum.
Am, not really any suggestions for you, are you just evil?
I do hope your daughter has someone else in her life, whom she can look up to and rely on. Cause it is not you. So when she finds out, she has a soft place to fall.
Is she prettier than you? I suppose whilst you think she is second best, that's why she is the relationship which he is happy to admit.
Maybe he has the hots for oldys, he knows you are his boss, looking for favours, cause he knows your going to be too embarrassed to admit your fucking the boy.
First place? Second choice? I wonder how many lists he has got. Your horrible, don't know the meaning of love and probably pretty unattractive too! Your personality is in any case.
Work it out for yourself doll. You the big girl here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): "It made me incredibly hot knowing I could have him and I knew I was his original choice, my daughter was his second choice. He had no idea we are mother and daughter, things at work got quite intense between us and I couldn't help myself after a late drunken night out, we ended up in bed together."
Oh, for god's sake...grow up, woman! I agree, this posting is disgusting. It's got to be a hoax. I can't believe a Mother would do this type of betrayal to her own daughter. You are an attention freak and you don't care who's lives you shatter to feed your enormously self-involved ego. How utterly disheartening! Such an example of a horrid, extreme rivalry between a Mother who is probably misguided, insecure and very, very jealous of her much younger, likely more attractive daughter. Why are you so willing to risk your relationship with her daughter, simply because of your ego and for some young buck who is just with you for the sex.
What do you do? Dump this man because he's a jerk. Find the personal courage to tell your daughter this man is a cad and you both have been having sex behind her back. Ask for her forgiveness, and hope she'll come back to you in time, when she finds the ability to forgive you. You have a daughter and you disrespected her greatly and you disrespected yourself. Where is your pride and love as a Mother? What is wrong with you? I have a 29 year old daughter and I cannot fathom this type of pain to put on the shoulders of my daughter, the one person I will have a relationship with for the rest of my life. Go get professional help for your warped sense of entitlement and your extreme lack of a conscience. And do some research on how to be a decent Mother.
I make no apologies for being upset with this lady...it takes all kinds but when I hear of a Mother who purposely betrays her own flesh and blood to compete with her own daughter, I would say this Mother has the worldview of a 13 year old and she suffers deep emotional immaturity problems. This is something an adolescent would do with her best friend...not a 38 year old woman. I'm outta here and I'm done with this insane posting...next.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Hi
Why are you in competiton with your own daughter?
Ive got an aunt, whom i love to bits, but shes never had any problem cheating on her long term husband and used to always flirt with her daughters blokes.
You will always be 18 yrs older than your daughter and nothing is going to change that. Get over it. From what you say, she wasnt exactly his second choice, you turned him down, THEN he met your daughter? Any why did you suddenly find him all that once you knew she was with him?
I feel so sorry for your daughter. Thats disgusting. I cant think of any reason she wouldnt deserve better than either of you.
If you were a good parent, you would hate the thought of any guy treating her like he is, let alone sleep with him yourself.
Shame on you to be honest.
You can chose your friends etc etc etc...
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): I have an idea, try growing up a little, that might help.Are you serious? She's your daughter for God sake. You are obviously putting your wants and needs before hers. So let me get this right, you originally turned him down because you are his boss, but then as soon as you found out he was dating your daughter that made you "HOT" so you decided to sleep with him after a drunken stuper? WOW! Words can't describe how pathetic that sounds. You should want better for your daughter. You don't mind that she's dating a guy that's already cheating on her, WITH her own mother none the less!!! Are you that's selfish that you are trying to destroy her?What should you do? You should stop this childish behavior before your daughter finds out. If she does find out be prepared for her to hate you for a while, if not forever. You need to decide what's more important here. You're own daughter (your flesh and blood) or your need to feel desired by a younger man (who by the way happens to be dating your daughter). May God have mercy on your soul!
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A
female
reader, Raining Tears +, writes (20 February 2008):
 OK.....#1 rule with a daughters bf.............dont mess around with them.....trust me it will lose there trust FOREVER!!!! i think u should let ur daughter have him.......i mean u like him she likes him........let ur daughter have the fun.....i mean theres plenty of other guys out there just leave them be.....ur his boss dats kinda sik......(no fense)
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female
reader, LouLee +, writes (20 February 2008):
 In my opinion i think you should let your daughter know exactly what has happened then try to forget about him, which i know is easier said than done. he is a sleeze for cheating and im sure you and you're daughter can do better.
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