A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been single for 2 years. My last relationship messed me up a bit when my ex (who ppl said was not good enough for me) cheated on me. I've never really gotten over it. I have been looking for the perfect bf and always find something wrong with them or i get totally too much into them, like obessesed nearly.A guy at work who i used to think of as a brother has just told me he has loved me for a long time. He is married (just decided to get a divorce although it has nothing to do with me, he and his wife were trying for a baby and lost it a month ago, realised they were only together for the baby and broke up). He is Indian and from a totally different culture. I'm not racist but I've been out with men from other cultures before and it has proved not to work out. Also i have a feeling if i was to go for it, it would have to remain secret for a while and when people found out they would blame me. he is everything i want in a man, apart from the whole being married thing, also im not sure whether i just like him because ive been single for so long and finally someone is giving me attention. I think if he hadnt told me his feelings i wouldnt be giving him a second look now.What do i do??? Any advice, anything at all.
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at work, broke up, cheated on me, divorce, my ex, trying for a baby Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (3 November 2007):
I hope this assimilation can help paint a clearer picture here.
If you hang around waiting for Mr Perfect to come along you may not get on board or recognise it with Mr Right comes along instead.
What is the differance between Mr Perfect and Mr Right?
Mr Perfect ticks all the right boxes and will provide you with the so called perfect relationship - will supply you with the perfect number of children, earn the perfect salary, and always know what you want and have it there for you. You may have to spend a VERY long time looking for him though.
Mr Right may have these things, he may not but he will possess one vital thing that Mr Perfect may not. He will have that magic thing about him that blows you off your seat when you see him. He will have that magic thing about him where he may not be perfect at many things but in Mr Right those other things simply will not matter.
Other people will see a Mr Perfect clearly but you and only you will know Mr Right when you see him.
I hope this situation you are in works out but I feel you have confusions with the identification of Mr Perfect and Mr Right. Once you sort these two general descriptions out I feel the world of men out there will become an easier one for you to guide yourself through.
As regards the Indian guy - see what happens. The wow factor is not there at the moment but may develop - if it does not do not be afraid to look elseware.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (3 November 2007):
 I would take your time with this situation. So neither of you ends up getting hurt. You need to work out if you really like this guy or not, and he needs to work through his divorce. Why not go out for a drink or dinner and chat with each other. No sex or anything, just socialising and see where it goes :)
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