A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi and thanks in advance for your help,I have been seeing a girl for a little over a year now. She is amazing and she is perfect for me. I treat her so nice, polite, and id do anything for her, and she knows that. Yet, she refuses to call us "together" or "boyfriend and girlfriend". Ive talked to her and she says she just doesnt see herself in a relationship right now. Yet, things go on, we say i love you, kiss, hug, cuddle, etc etc. Its just this cycle....My question is, what should I do with this situation? I DO love her, and id love to make things truly work.....but should i end this? go on a break? or what should i do to make things work and make her realize the benefits having a relationship.thanks so much, you dont even know..
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the responses, I am getting an idea of things now. I'd like to reply that -- she has never had a relationship before, and I am her first "commitment" you could say. This kind of all makes sense now i guess. Thank you all for everything! I REALLY appreciate the comments. Much thanks and regards.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): Maybe you should talk to her about it or go on a break.But I suggest you just let her decide when she feels the time is right to call you her boyfriend. Obviously, you can't force her. Just give it some time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): I may be wrong but I myself was in a position similiar to this once, although in this case I was the girl who could not except I was in a relationship. I beleive this may be what your 'Girl friend' is doing. Sometimes people cannot except to be commited to a person although they do want the feelings of being in a commited relationship, by saying that they are not 'boy friend' ''girl friend it makes them feel as if they still have that freedom and independence. I do beleive by the way you have described your relationship that this girl does very much have strong feelings for you, although she may have a few issues with the idea of being commited at the moment. This may be because she has either been single for a long period of time? and is use to being single. Or if she has came out of a relationship recently and is wanting to have a bit of freedom whilst still receiving attention. I think the best thing for you to do is to either leave her to decide when she feels comfortable enough to except you as her boyfriend, I can tell by the way you speak of her that you do not really want to go on break just because of this or to end it all, as if you did this im sure you'd lose out on a whole of a lot and miss her. this which would solve nothing. Although if she cannot see herself in a relationship but still be able to carry on as if she is in one you should be questioning whether you beleive she will ever see herself in a realtionship with you, maybe asking her this would help clear your mind and answer a few unanswered questions
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A
female
reader, geordiegirl22  +, writes (6 April 2007):
 I'm really sorry to tell you this, i can tell you love the girl after puttin up with what u do it must be heart wrenching, but this girl is taking you for a MUG!shes getting all the benefits of a relationship, love and understanding from you, and you probably spend money on her, but she doesnt want the commitment? something sounds dodgy,mayb she cares for you but wants to play about with others too?I suggest you try talking to her again, tell her how u feel, and if that doesnt work, let her go, theres a saying that goes something along the lines of "if you love something let it go, if it comes back, then its meant to be".GOOD LUCK AND BE HAPPY REGARDLESS
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A
female
reader, ruth2203 +, writes (6 April 2007):
from what i see sorry if i have it wrong your 2 people who might as well be together , you do all the things people in realtionship do you jsut cant be in realtionship , maybe she is scared of commitment or being in a realtionship , tell her how yuo feel and understand ihope it works out im in a simular situation my self x
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