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I've been replaced in the group by a new girl and it hurts!

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, I have a bit of a friendship problem. I usually go and hang out in my village with 3 good friends (2 boys 1 girl) and we would meet up a few times a week.

Recently, one of the boys has been seeing a girl from school (one of my friends) and now she seems to have replaced me in this group, they all go out around the village but don't invite me anymore, this has been happening for 2 months.

I explained to both of the girls in a joking manner about how I felt and the new girl invited me out a couple of times with them, however last time we went out it was more of a double date between the four of them and I felt like I was invisible. They haven't invited me out since.

I'm getting quite annoyed over the situation as I feel as though I have been replaced and they say that nothings changed yet I am never invited to any of these "outings" so never know when they are out until afterwards. I don't get annoyed easily but this has hurt me a lot, especially as I know that if/ when the thing with the new girl finished it will be my shoulder he'll cry on so to speak.

I'm not sure they realise how much it has been upsetting me but they haven't done anything about it even when I've told them, what do I do?

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (9 June 2012):

Since you mentioned that it was like a double date and you felt awkward, it sounds like they're starting relationships with these girls. You're still their friend so of course nothing has really changed, but if you are going out on a double date, you don't invite a random single person. I know you feel hurt, but I'm sure it's nothing personal and they like you just the same--but when people start dating other people, the single ones get left out. It's life.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 June 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntWhy don't you make arrangements for an outing and invite everyone. Tell them all you miss them and don't say it in a joking way be serious with them and explain to them that you feel left out. However there is two of the four that are in a relationship which is fair enough if they want to spend all there time together. You say you felt out of place though, so am guessing the other two like each other as well and it appears it is double dating that they are doing. I know it can be hard especially for you to have to deal with this, but sometimes people change once they get in to a relationship.

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