A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello there! My issue is that I asked a woman out at work a while ago who I really didn't know that well. At the time, unbeknownst to me she was already going out with another guy at work. She rejected my proposal via e-mail and that was that, basically. Word on the street was that she was a little shaken up by my proposal since she thought that everyone knew she was seeing this other guy and that according to her she had not been sending out any encouraging vibes to anyone else. She started blanking me for a while and then I assured her that I would just continue on a 'professional' relationship basis only. Problem is that I really don't see her that often. A while ago she was flirting heavily with another guy right under my nose in the coffee area. Her man was not in the coffee area at the time. I gave her a rather disapproving look because I thought that she was disrespecting not only me but also her man. She responded to this the following day by ignoring me when I send good morning to her (fresh slate to start the day!) when walking into the office. If she flirts with this particular guy again in my presence then I will just leave her be. Since my proposal she has been avoiding all eye contact with me. It's all negative and creates a bad atmosphere. I'm basically on a damage limitation exercise. I appreciate she does not fancy me but does anyone have any tips as to how I can gain her respect for me since she appears to have lost all respect. I'm leaving her alone as much as possible ('avoidance' is the word some people might use). So basically I'm on a damage limitation exercise here. I hope she doesn't hate me - or worse still pity me. That would be the worst case scenario. Suffice to say she knows I have feelings for her - maybe that's the problem which accounts for her lack of eye contact. Like I said - I'm leaving her alone so that she can be free to express herself around the office (at my expense?). Is there anything more I can do to make her feel more comfortable around me? Thank you for any thoughts.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): Thank you for this Satindesire! We see each other every day since we have frequented the same open plan area at work since Oct08, but haven't had an actual conversation since last June. I'm leaving the company soon anyway - so that really is that! Thanks again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): You haven't done anything out of line, so why be so concerned? Just be yourself. She has some problems. They do not involve you. I would just drop her from your mind, romantically speaking, and move on. I know her being around in a work situation makes it more difficult. But, you can overcome this. I have seen so many work related relationships that I am a bit burned on them. An old boss and mentor once told me that a man should not c**p where he eats...or f**k where he works. That has been a good guideline for me and I would pass it on...(smile)
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