A
male
age
30-35,
*uke white
writes:Back 4 years ago I had major issues with my mother and step father. These issues were to do with high level drugs. For 3 years I was the person who looked after my brother and cared for him. No one else knew about the problem so I had no help with this. After about 3 years of trying to cope with this problem I finaly sought advice and spoke to my grandmother. She instantly took me and my brother in. At this present moment I am now 16 and my brother is 10 years old but over the last few months my brother hasn't been happy and just recently he has told me that he does not want to live with me and my nan, but wants to move back with my mother. I do now have a relationship with my mother, as we have left this thing in the past, but I don't want to move back in with my mother as I am happy and have settled in well with my nan now where my brother does, I really just don't know what to let him do. My mum says she has been clean for 3 years now and she seems really healthy but I just don't want to let my brother go as I have cared for him basically since he was 6. Can someone please give me advice on what to do.thankyou
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male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (22 November 2007):
 Hi Luke. You sound like a very responsible young man, credit to you for having the bravery to speak up and look after the wellbeing of yourself and your brother.
The best first step would be to talk to your Gran, without anyone else there. Tell her what your brother has said and ask what she thinks.
Be careful, does your brother only say these things when something has upset him, or gets told off etc.? It's common for a child (which he still is remember) who is away from one or both of their parents to simply want to be with the other carer when they're upset. Just because you had to grow up quickly, and develop an adult way of seeing things, does not mean he has. He has been looked after all his life and so does not have the sensible view on life that you do so his wish may not be what is best for him.
Another thing you need to consider, your mum claims to have been clean for 3 years, in this time, I'm assuming she hasn't tried to take him back. Does this not say something about her parenting?
Talk to your Gran, but by the sound of things you have done the sensible, mature thing by going to live with your Gran, she should be very proud of you.
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