A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey im in l love with a friend of mine. the problem is that shes a girl and so am i. i've loved her for about 5 1/2 years. i ve told her that i love her. though she diddnt reply positively, by her conduct i know that she loves me to. but we live in a comunity where homosexuality is considered immoral. from about 5 months back she dosent want to see me anymore, nor do we mail, talk over the phone or text each other. it really hurt me to go through this. but i know that i love her, and i cant forget her. i know this feeling is wrong, and i have to let her go, but it really kills my heart to think about it. please, tell me what to do. please do write to me about your expereinces if you do have similer ones.
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female
reader, helphelp77  +, writes (29 October 2007):
ah, i feel your pain, and iv been a very similar situation although i wasnt half as patient as you seemed to have been. I was in love with my best friend for about two and a half years, i didnt tell her but something came between us which meant we didnt really talk anymore, i think deep down she always knew how i felt though.
I didnt feel better about myself, or her until i moved on. If you have nobody to distract yourself with, then your feelings are going to take a lot longer to fade away. Good news is it appears you have already accepted nothing is going to happen, and gained closure. This should make this really painful experience a little easier as now you have accepted its time to move on and get over this girl. Anyway, in my experience, the thing that got me over my friend was the other girl who came along (who was actually going through the same thing), and in some ways having been in love with a girl for so long, and not getting them, but then finally finding someone else really makes you so so happy and can distract you so well. Mainly because if you get along so well its so refreshing to have the feelings reciprocated. My advice to you is to do everything you can to meet someone new, to give your love somewhere where it wont be put to waste. not contacting your friend is definitely the best option. Eventually you two will be friends again. My best friend from a while a go constantly takes me off for chats about how much she regrets what happens and now constantly makes the effort- and its so nice to not feel anything towards her when she does! you sound like a lovely person and deserving of finding someone who makes you happy, so just keep doing what you're doing and please know things will get easier. Theres no quick fix its just going to have to take time, this person clearly isnt right for you and this painful time is a step you're going to have to take to find the person who is.
i wish you the best of luck.
A
female
reader, lyrickchick +, writes (13 October 2007):
well i haven't had any experiences like this with woman but i sure have with a couple of guys, but i know that if i woz in your shoes i would be upset aswel. I know it hurts more because the woman was a friend of yours but the only thing i can suggest is try and boost your confidence. Maybe you should try going to a lesbian club and see what other ladies might tickle your fancy, you never know you may find someone who you could end u liking. Also at some point your friend may come around but right now she may just be getting over the shock, give her more time to think.
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