A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So there's this guy that I've been hung up on for the past two years nearly. When we first met we instantly became friends maybe even a tiny bit more (constant flirting, long conversations etc). Then after a couple of months things got awkward. I liked him but I hid it so well not even my friends knew. I know now that he liked me and was always trying to impress me, and I must've hurt his ego by unintentionally "rejecting" him (not showing feelings other than friendship) even though I really fell for him. After the awkward stage we stopped talking completely, no goodbye no explanation of why we stopped talking it just happened so drastically. We haven't spoken in person for over a year now. Multipul times I've tried to reconnect with him over social media but the conversations have been short and meaningless on his part. Like our friendship never existed. Late responses, short replies, no "goodbye" or "cya" just disappearing. In one of our conversations he admitted to still liking me, but from what he said after it seemed as if he wanted a hook up or something (he knew I liked him too). Which I had mixed feelings about.So anyway, he's going through some real shit right now and is truly depressed over it, and I want to try again just to support him and be a friend even after him making me feel like crap over again. Is it worth trying to rekindle our friendship or should I just stay out? I've been depressed before so I understand how he feels, but the fact that whenever I try to be there for him he cuts me out all over again but let's in pathetic people who don't really care. Right now I don't even care about the crush I'm slowly getting over it, I just want to be a friend he can rely on. Should I let him know that or just accept that he doesn't want me in his life? Otherwise he wouldn't have cut me out in the first place.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I tried. Told him I'm here for him if he ever needs somebody to talk to. His responses were not great but I feel better after letting that out. Even if he never tales me up on the offer (which I wish he would). From his responses I think I know it's time to just get on with my life. If he doesn't want to be a part of it in anyway then you're right, it's his loss. I'll reserve my caring and affection for somebody who deserves it. Thanks Tottochan :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou so much both of you in particular HoneyPie. You're right. He's just somebody that I use to know and I need to just move on from him completely and find worthy of my time and affection. It's just that, well I was in love with him for two years basically, I know you're thinking it's not love but I know it was. Never like any crush I've ever had. I want to move on so bad but whenever I try not to think about him (and actually achieve it) I dream about him that night, and then think about the dream all day. I've reached the point where I do have another crush on a guy but I still can't get over the main one. And I've never spoken to this new guy so it's just another pointless crush.
The first guy is really nice and relationship material, just that he's bad at showing any emotion through messages. He's always been bad at messages even when we faked in person all the time. I just don't get him. You're right though I'm not going to try again just to be in the same dad situation. If he ever wants to be friends with me well he knows exactly where to find me. Time to move on now, thanks for that advice:)
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A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (22 February 2016):
Hi there,
I actually think that you should give it one more shot and then let it be if he doesn't reciprocate.
Don't do it in a needy way, but just let him know that you're there as a friend if he needs to get anything off his chest or a shoulder to lean on. Say that whatever is in the past is in the past, and you could start over on a fresh slate.
It's good that you're getting over your crush on him, because then, you can really be a true friend and do what's best for him, without your own feelings getting in the way.
I understand that his behaviour earlier was hurtful, but who knows, he probably distanced himself from you because he was afraid that if he got closer to you, he'd catch feelings again and you would again only want to be his friend.
But in the end, if he still doesn't want to be friends, just let it be. He has to make his own decisions and see what turns his life takes based on that. He's lucky that he has someone like you, and it's his loss if he doesn't see that.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 February 2016):
 Doing the same thing OVER AND OVER and expecting a different outcome is... at best naive and at "worst" being dense.
I get that you are "hung up" on him. But is it because he somehow rejected you and you won't accept that, or is it that you don't accept that he IS NOT the guy you want him to be?
Maybe what you really need to do is CUT him out of your life, like he has done with you. And maybe it's time you take those super rise tinted glasses off when it comes to him. He is NOT the prince charming you want him to be or think that he is. Bump him off that worship pedestal and see him for what he is... and that is... NOT your friend and NOT your potential BF. He is someone you used to know. That is it.
Let him go and in turn you will set yourself free. Free to make new and MUCH better friends and maybe even a partner for life.
Until you do, you are allowing this "fantasy" of yours to hijack your life and waste your time.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 February 2016):
 You have tried and tried to get the friendship back, and he keeps rejecting your overtures ..... how many times are you going to repeat the exercise?
There is a poem by Portia Nelson, called Autobiography in five short chapters, I recommend you read it, and then chose to walk down a different street.
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