A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i m 22 years old and i guy i love is 44 and is married with 2 kids. we have been in a relationship for the past 3 years. initially when he started saying that he loves me i tried completely avoiding him but slowly he convinced me into falling in love with him. the time he persuaded was the time when i was completely alone, away from home and very depressed and nobody to look after me. he always promised me that he will leave his wife and kids and spend his rest of the life with me and believing his promise i been having sex with him for the past 2 years. now he is avoiding me but calls me occasionally and says that he loves me. i want to break the relation with him but i am not able to get over him. i have slipped into depression completely and my life is getting affected. he is a close family friend of my family. should i confess everything to his wife and my parents? should i tell her everything without identifying its me(as she knows me)? how to get over him? pls help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2012): Lie? That's what you all think is the best way to handle this?
You cheated. You don't have the right to be considerate now. You weren't before, were you?
Did you think there weren't going to be consequences.
You need to confess to his wife. She deserves, and has every right to know the truth of what she married and whether to stay in that marriage.
Once you confess and apologise, sincerely, what happens then is up to the betrayed, not the betrayors.
Maybe you should stay away from relationships until you can figure out what someone being married actually freaking means.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 Whats the point of confessing?
It wont make you feel any better, your family will be disgusted and also more than likely his wife will forgive him (i know the culture)
This man sounds like he has been using you
(because no man truly in love is going to string along another woman for 2 years by using her for sex when it started at her vulnerable time), this type of relations is always a disaster.
Yes its depressing, but i think you should avoid him and try to completely forgive yourself for this whole mess!
Associate with others and get into a new hobby to distract your attention away from him.
Your young you still have a start of a better life.
Goodluck!
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (22 May 2012):
 To be honest, I absolutely don't think you should tell his wife and your parents. Why? Because you did cheat, and his wife has done nothing wrong. So now if you feel bad, you need to get over it somehow, but not in a vengeful way, by ruining his wife's life, and possible his totally innocent kids' lives, and by involving your parents.
It was bad enough having an affair with him for so long, but telling all now (whilst conveniently 'excluding' your own role from the 'truth telling') would be extremely low of you.
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