A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I don't really know where to start. I don't know whats the matter with me. I know none of you are probs doctors but advise is what i need i think. I'm feeling really low. i feel sick a lot of the time so i've not eaten properly since Saturday. (i'm not pregnant) I've started crying all the time. I just feel really low. I keep questioning my relationship, my partner works a lot more than me and we hardly ever have any quality time, and i think that's also getting to me. I feel really low down the line of his priorities. He often makes jibes (only silly messing around comments) about my weight. I'm a size 12 (uk). I don't know if i'm starting to become a bit depressed and low self esteem or i'm just questioning our relationship? The making jokes thing isn't meant to hurt me, we both do it, but recently its been getting to me more than before. I'm also feeling so so tired in the day but then cant sleep at night? Has anyone got any advise on what to do? stop me from feeling like rubbish all the time. I love my partner to bits i really do. Were also buying a house together and i don't know if i'm just a bit stressed about that or having a bout of cold feet/worrying... Thanks in advance xx
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (7 August 2013):
 You could be feeling a bit depressed but your symptoms also could be something else so I would suggest a chat with your doctor. Sometimes just talking a bit helps anyway. Good luck c
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): Hi
Why no go to your GP and have a chat,I would.
Also Sorry you are feeling quite down with the blues :(, I agree, I think you have a few niggly things going on at the moment that maybe getting you a bit down. However I do think that your boyfriends jibes (in fun) may be making you doubt yourself a little. I have experienced this type of fun from a boyfriend,and at first I laughed, 2nd time I grinned, 3rd time I felt hurt, 4th time pissed off,10th time, I believed him.
You get my point? Although he always said it was only in fun, if you hear negative things often enough you may start believing it, even when you know its untrue, the doubt creeps in.
What is the fun in repeating the same joke over again? would he repeat the same joke to his friends over and over ?)NO!
Would he start worrying and believe he was crap in bed, if you told him in fun and often? I think he would start to doubt his performance and possibly not get it up.
You could try 'reversing' this negative fun into telling YOURSELF, how lucky he is to have you, and how great you look. I believe this is called 'positive AFFIRMATIONS', the opposite of what your boyfriend is doing.Tell him this aswell.
I think he may be getting you down more than you realize. Be aware of what you are willing to accept in terms of fun (at your expense), give him your bench mark and don't let him cross it.
You are young and need to understand that you are unique and special so don't let anybody drag you down.
hope you feel better soon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): hi there. I have been there, done that as far as the "last on the list of your partner's priorities." I also experienced your symptoms. what it is, is depression. When you are depressed your energy gets totally sapped and your appetite gets affected (some people overeat especially junk food, other people completely go off food).
what I did is I re-adjusted my priorities. I decided that I don't want this relationship anymore, if I am the last on his list of priorities. I basically mentally cut off from the relationship and started putting HIM last on my list of priorities too. I went out and did stuff for myself, by myself or with friends and other people. I became a lot more independent. Eventually, we broke up but that was because that is what happens when one person puts you last on their list of priorities, it means they do not want a relationship except when it's convenient for them. That's selfish of them, and it's not good for you to be with someone like that.
if your bf puts you last on his priorities, then he isn't someone that you should be with. He is just too selfish, or self-absorbed or self-centered, however you want to put it. Or maybe he actually isn't that into you. Maybe in the future his attitudes and priorities will change since people do change as they get older and experience more of life such as getting dumped by previous partners for being selfish! But in the here and now and for the foreseeable future this is who he is, and it is not good for you to be with someone like this. You need to emotionally and mentally disconnect from this relationship and start seeing yourself as separate from him and live your life for yourself and stop waiting on him.
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