A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,I've been feeling confused and alone lately and could really use some advice, and I can accept an honest answer. I'm abroad right now, and althought I've made some wonderful friends, whom I love dearly, I can't talk to them about my feelings because it would complicate things. I trust the people I know and feel that people should confide in their friends, but I can't bring myself to do that. I desperately want to talk to my mom, but she's far away. First of all, how do you know that you have lost your opportunity with someone forever? Suppose someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, for example... and they think of you as a friend?I'm confused about my own feelings. I know that I really care for this person as a friend, and I know that he reciprocates my feelings. I'm confused about my own feelings... I don't think that I have ''those'' feelings (eg romantic feelings) for my friend but I know that I'm feeling more than a twinge of sadness right now. I often feel lonely here because I'm new, and I would LIKE to have close friendships with people and when I see other people who have bonded with one another, I feel isolated and alone. I know that this person is my friend but I'm not sure if it's possible to cultivate a close friendship with someone who has a girlfriend. I know that this person is my friend and that he wouldn't abandon me, but I'm still new here and not really close to anyone. I think that's the reason that I'm experiencing this sadness; I hope that no one judges me for the things I've said, but I can't help how I feel. I feel torn, because I feel that you should be able to talk to your friends about anything, and I trust them, but I feel that it's difficult to talk to any of my friends here because they're close to the situation. Furthermore I WANT him to be happy and I can imagine how uncomfortable this would make someone feel. I'm not really sure what to ask right now, and I'm not entirely sure about how I feel. Is it possible to cultivate close friendships with someone is that person is in a relationship? I've thought about it, but I feel like I only care about him as a friend... I've traveled a lot and I'm not ready to commit to anyone, but I am hesitant to say that I NEVER want to have someone. I'm wondering... how do you know if you have absolutely no chance with someone... that you've lost that person forever?I feel guilty that I've turned to the Internet instead of talking to people I know about this, even though I trust my friends. I realize how unhealthy it is to be overly concerned with what people think about you, but I feel torn because I have these intense feelings that I can't share with anyone, and I feel guilty about hiding things. I often wonder... what would you think about me if you were my friend?
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