A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone tell me what these texts mean?. I have feelings for a man and his dad sent one text saying good luck and hope it goes well. Dont spend all your money on her.Another text he sent said don't be upset if it doesn't work out. The man I like sent his dad a text saying I must be mad meeting this young lady.in another text, he said it might be better if it doesn't.i am not sure what this was responding to.I have known him for a few years now.we have been friends. I have told him how I feel about him but he doesn't open up to me.What should I do?.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 September 2015):
 Uhm... is there by any chance a big age difference between you ? are you noticeably younger than him ? Or has he got some sort of baggage ( healthwise, moneywise... ) which he may think it's too much for you to handle ?
Because it sounds like you were friends but now he wants to take it further ; well, you were organizing a date , basically- you were out on a date ,right ? And he even told his father to get , if not his blessing :) his good luck wishes.
So he must have been excited about it, even eager - otherwise I don't think normally people would tell their dads if they just want to hang out for coffee with a friend, or else if they want an one night stand. At least I suppose.
He sounds interested- but it's like there is something blockig him. I can think of two reasons for this, and , unluckiy they are sort of opposite, so you'll have to toss a coin:)
The good one; Maybe the other respondent is right, the one who says this guy wanted some encouragement. Maybe he is shy or insecure or feels ypu are out of his league,so he wanted you to say, when he showed you the texts, " Of course it's gonna work ! we'll get on like a house on fire ! " LOL.
Now the bad one. He knows that you like him, in fact you already have brough up " feelings "- and that's why is evasive . He likes you too , but not for soverly serious,
he'd like to keep things casual and recreational, that's why he is so vague .
You might either be brave , and just blurt out " what would you think about us becoming a couple " , or something like that. Nothing ventured nothing gained . He won't be so terribly surprised because he already knows you like him, and he will have to give you a precise answer . If you get turned down- well, rejection stings always, then again knowing exacrly what is what is also a big relief in many cases.
You don't feel so assertive ?:) Cool too, gve him rope and see if he hangs himself. As a matter of fact, although I am certainly not against women taking the initiative in sentimental and sexual matters at times, ... I also think that this is a grown up man, non a kid, and he should not be NEEDING to hide behind shyness or insecurity or ? ,- if he wants something ( in this case , you ) he should be able to go and get it.
So maybe the best is just being patient and observe how it all plays out and if he asks you out again etc. On case he is an eager guy ( if he told his dad !, I think he should be ) who is taking things slow- or f he just a timewaster . Just , in the meantime, stay cool and collected and try not to fall from " I sort of like him " into a full blown infatuation, as alas many of us have the tendency to do when they set their sights on somebody.
For the time being, he is just a friend , and a guy that you could sort of like in other roles too . Only time will tell . Good luck .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): Oh, and I dont know if this means anything, but he said I looked nice yesterday too.he has said that a few times before.he also kept asking me if I was still with my boyfriend when I was with him.we broke up ages ago.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): Cindy, I will explain things more now.Yes, the texts were about me and I am pretty sure because he said so, and they were sent at the same time that we were texting to arrange to meet up yesterday.We went to a bar together yesterday.He showed me the texts there.
He does know that I like him. When I ask him about his feelings he either just says I am a nice person, or he changes the subject.We are still friends at the minute.
I did ask him what they meant, but he just changed the subject again.its confusing lol.
Why do you think he said he must be mad meeting a young lady (me) ?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (7 September 2015):
OK, mine is probably a dumb question, but... who is the girl he is exchanging emails about, is it you ? And are you SURE about that ?
Because, you know, the first impression I had of the situation at the first reading of your post is that you were sort of friendzoned. You had been friends for a while, then you told him you had feelings, - and he did not catch the ball,he let it drop. Then he went on with his dad about this woman he wants to start a something with, and his dad is wishing him good luck.
So, I thought your question sort of meant, do you think he is serious about this other lady, or something like that.
But, after your update, I think you meant that you WERE friends and now you have become something more ? And you want to know WHAT more ,i.e. how do you stand with him ?...
In this case, though,... I am stumped. Why would he should you the text exchange with his father showing that he has misgivings about the venture and thinks it won't work ?
And, most of all, what did YOU say when he showed you these emails ? Clearly you did not ask him what he meant ( since you are asking us )- but, WHY didn't you ? After he is talking about YOUR relationship , you are entitled to ask questions since it is something involving you. ..I guess at least- that is involving you. But a little more background would not hurt.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (7 September 2015):
 He sounds very unsure of things. The foundation of the txt could stem from a once bitten twice shy past experience. Im not sure why exactly he would want to show you other than hoping your response would be one of reassurance. If he is willing to show you then he should be open for you to ask questions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): Thanks for the response. What did he say when you asked him what they meant when he showed you? It's hard to say without knowing the context.
You sound like you are more invested than he is. He may come round, but I wouldn't keep pursuing him if I were you. You've already told him hoe you feel and It's now his turn to initiate. You don't want to prop up a relationship on your own
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): Hi
I am the person who posted this question
He showed me the texts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): Why are you reading texts between him and his father?
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