A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey I'm living With my boyfriend and have been in a serious relationship with him for a number of years. Before we met I was at college and had what I would call a crush on one of my lecturers there.This crush kindof just fizzled out, and even though the same lecturer was teaching me at uni I didn't feel the same butterflies I used to. Me and thre lecturer have always been friends and still keep intouch even though he no longer teaches me.But for the past 3 or four months I have been having intimate dreams about him, just after these dreams started he invited me out to see one of our favourite bands. At this point I should probably explain that although he wasn't married when we first met he now is and has a child. I decided not to go as I felt too guilty and made up an excuse.The really weird thing is I was thinking about him the other day and he text me asking if I would come and watch his new band. I replied saying yes but am once again feeling guilty and although nothing has ever happened In the past, and there is no sign that he may feel the same way, I've got a feeling I may be putting my self in a situation that might get out of hand.The worst thing of all is that although I love my boyfriend and don't want to lose him I can't help wonder what it might be like to have on night with this other guy. No one would ever know if something happened.I'll just add that I have never been unfaithful to my current boyfriend or previous relationships.Should I make up another excuse and risk him falling out with me?Or should I go and hope that the feelings are on my part only?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTimmd, thankyou for your reply, I will take your advice. I would never do it. Sometimes you just need to write things down and get another persons perspective. You are 100% right in what you have said. It would be a total waste of my relationship, and I could lose a good friend. I have spoken to my boyfriend and he has agreed to come with me to the gig. You must think I'm a terrible person, I certainly feel terrible.
Thankyou Again.
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 He's married and has a child. You have a boyfriend. Nobody would know???? YOU would know! And if you can live with that than maybe you should reconsider your relationship with your boyfriend. Would you be okay with him thinking in his mind about having a one night stand with some girl with the anticipation that you won't find out?
Odds are this is all in your mind. This lecturer is probably just being friendly by inviting you. My advice is to just stay away. But again, if you are seriously alright with cheating on your boyfriend like this than you really need to reconsider your commitment to him. And it doesn't matter that you have never cheated on him before, you are openly saying it's okay if no one would ever know if something happened.
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