A
female
age
41-50,
*azzie1
writes:How can I forget about a man who has cheated on me twice been physically abusive..I've been with him for 4yrs and I know he love's me we've had a rocky relationship cuz I've been confused with his behavior. I'm a single 33yr old mother with 2 boys ages 14 and 8..he has never acted abusive in front of them which I thank god for that..he say's that if I give him another chance and a child that he would change because that's what he wants..I'm so confused because at one point I was feelin bad and was about to have a child for us just to make him happy to see if he would change.Is it worth even considering anything with this man. He has brainwashed me to believe that there are no good men out here and I see how alot of these guys lie.I'm so scared of being alone and I am a really attractive woman but I think I might have self-esteem issues cuz of him. What can I do, does anyone think I might need physcological help? Is this normal to be with someone just because you dont want to start all over again.Is this relationship worth saving? Also his daughter's mother told me one time that if she wanted him she would have him it's just she doesn't want to be 6ft under..please help me this can't be normal.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 March 2009):
 Sorry you are confused, I'm not. He used you for a punching bag, that ends the confusion as far as I'm concerned. Unless you want to raise two more fatheads that think punching a woman is okay then you'd best get the hell out of Dodge.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): There ya go! His ex summed it all up for you. He won't change! He is who he is. An abusive, contoling, disturbed man! By saying what he said about changing, only if you have his child, he is putting conditions on his willingness to change. He obviously doesn't think he has a problem. To him, you are the problem. and if you only kept your mouth shut or done what he wanted, or not....well, you get the idea.
Your sons my not have witnessed the abuse yet, but they will and they probably sense that something isn't right already. Domestic violence escalates as time goes by. It gets worse and worse, until you fear for your life and get out of the situation, he goes to jail, or you die!
I lived it for 16 years, bent over backwards to try to make him happy. Nothing ever worked! I finally left when I knew that if I didn't he would kill me! If your sons are exposed to this kind of behavior (I know you said they haven't seen it)they will grow up believing that is the way women should be treated. As much as they see it happening to their mother and hating it, the cycle will continue! Believe me, I know!
It's normal to fear starting over only because he has destroyed your selfesteem. I was 57 when I left my abuser! It was damn scary! But not nearly as scary as being with him!
I am happy to say my life is pretty good now. The peace and serenity are a Godsend! I am in a relationship with someone who loves me the way I should be loved,Someone who treats me with love, care and respect!
Don't trust his empty promises!
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