A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im a 22 yr old married woman, iv been maried since 20 and been with him since 18. but all along iv been cheating on him. i dont know why. hes such a good man, and a wonderful father to our little boy. im in the service and hes not, so were seperated for periods of time. he doesnt know and im feeling guilt now. i know he doesnt cheat and has never. i dont know why i do it. sometimes i wanna leave him so i can have freedom but at the same time im afraid to be alone. what should i do? if my husband finds out he will explode.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): This marriage is one big lie, on his part anyway. I agree with the others, you do know why, you said yourself: you want freedom but you're scared of being alone. Being single does not equal being alone. It may feel that way sometimes, but I think you feel that you can't be happy, or secure, unless you are with someone. I think you should come clean, whether he forgives you or whether you want to leave or not, because he deserves to know the truth. If he is willing to work through this then you can go to marriage counselling, or if he is not so forgiving, and/or you want to leave regardless, then you need to figure out the divorce proceedings and who has what custody of your son.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): You need to choose one or the other. Both married and single, don't come in the same sentence.
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A
male
reader, Sphronas +, writes (23 August 2009):
 You begin by saying you don't know why you've been cheating on your husband, but in the end you do know: you want your freedom and the only reason you stay with your husband right now is because you are scared of being alone.
This situation cannot continue. You are treating your husband with disrespect, even if he does not know about your affairs. He does not deserve this. Matters are complicated by the fact that you have a child together.
So you must choose: Either you choose your freedom and leave your husband. But this would mean leaving your little boy as well, because your choice would show that you are not ready for the kind of commitment it takes to raise a child.
Or you grow up and choose your family. In this case, you must stop your destructive behavior immediately. You must confess your infidelity to your husband and hope for his forgivenness. It will be come as a massive shock to him, so don't count on this being a quick and easy process. He may well end the relationship, and you would have to accept that. But maybe he is more mature than you and will agree to marriage counseling so that you can rebuild your relationship and his son can grow up with both parents.
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (23 August 2009):
 You're pushing boundaries, seeing how far you can go before you get caught.
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