A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started dating this guy a few weeks ago he has stayed the night with me almost every day the only time he goes home is when he has to work or go to church we live in different cities. I have had a terrible past with relationships of getting cheated on, lied to everything. Any way this guy is 20 he works and is starting college in the fall, I'm 19 with a 1 year old daughter from last relationship, I was in school but my financial aid messed up so I have to wait. He treats me amazingly and my daughter loves him my friends and family like him as well. He's met half of my family and friends and I've met his mom brother and two of his friends. The thing is I have issues due to my past, my daughters father cheated on me he was constantly texting other girls hanging out with them and such. Now I'm worried that this guy will do the same. Which of course he said anytime I wanted to see his texts I could he said I could have his password to Facebook he said he has nothing to hide. He told me all the people he texts. And he said if other girls texts him he don't text back cause he doesn't have a reason to text them back. But he takes his phone every where with him he almost never leaves it laying. And he is very jealous of other guys if another guy looks at me he gets mad, if guys calls me sexy or something he gets mad, and if other guys text me he gets mad and reads my text, he even went through my messages on Facebook one night when I sleeping. We both have had bad past relationships every girl he has dated has cheated on him and every guy i have dated cheats on me. My biggest problem is that when he isn't with me and he isn't texting me back I freak out and automatically think he's with another girl. When he texts I freak out and think he's texting another girl since he takes his phone everywhere. The more I keep thinking about it it just makes me depressed. How can I stop before I ruin things between him and I?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): "How can I stop before I ruin things between him and I?"Too late. This coupling is doomed simply because it would appear that this guy is setting you up to use you. You need to stop hopping into bed with virtual strangers, not to mention giving virtual strangers unrestricted access to your one-year-old daughter via overnight visits. I suspect your terrible past in relationships is the direct product of your lack of discrimination in choosing men and your tendency to rush into bad relationships with bad guys whom you literally do not know. You keep repeating the same patterns so you keep attracting the same type of losers without learning from your mistakes. Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result every time.You respond to charming manipulative con artists who tell you everything you want to hear, feeding your ego and fluffing your vanity while you remain completely oblivious to the obvious fact that their sole intention is to sweet talk you into bed strictly for their pleasure and strictly at their convenience. Guys can't disrespect girls who respect themselves. Your pathological neediness and insecurity makes you a magnet for lying cheating scumbags just looking to take advantage of clingy chicks like you.I politely suggest you seek counselling, for your daughter's sake if not your own. The last thing she needs is to grow up witnessing a parade of "uncles" traipsing in and out of Mommy's bedroom.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 March 2013):
 While I'm not a cynical as "Tranced" relative to the success that you might have in this relationship... I can't help but note that you have jumped in to a very close and intimate relationship very quickly (living together after just a few weeks).... and, have done so during a very tender and tenuous time of life....
Let's face it... you have your goings-on... and he has his... and you're (both) young and learning and experiencing new things... He's in school where there are stimuli abounding... and it's tough to imagine just WHAT is going to attract the attention of BOTH of you, in the future...
That said,... see if you can convince yourself to be as trusting (toward him) as you would/do expect him to be toward YOU.... Short of any real reason to be concerned about his fidelity... ASSUME that he is as in-love and dedicated to you as you are to him....
THEN, continue on in life... enjoy all sorts of things that are available to you.. entertainment, culture, social activities.... and see how you and he continue to blend together in both time and venue...
With luck... all will go just delightfully... and, in a few years, you'll look back on these days and say to yourself: "I sure met a great guy, and we've found and learned how to make a great life together... and, AREN'T I A LUCKY GIRL????"
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 This relationship will fail because you have not mentally conquered your past issues. you need to deal with those first then start a relationship otherwise carrying anything from your past in isn't fair to either person. Good luck.
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