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I'm feeling like I've lost the love of my life after the break up. Is this normal?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

So..I'm really sad over my recent break up. He broke up with me and I can honestly say I was in love with him. Towards the end of our relationship I could tell things weren't right so when he finally broke up with me I wasn't surprised. Things just got stale and he stopped making an effort. The first week I was sad but ok with it, thinking that "it was for the best" but suddenly everything hit me a few weeks ago. I am feeling like I've lost the love of my life. I can't stand to think of him with someone else. I can't stop thinking about him, and all the good memories we had together and fixating on them. I can't believe its over my heart literally feels broken, i cry every night. I know this sounds dramatic but I feel like I'm crumbling into depair and sadness. I haven't contacted him at all since the breakup, I keep wishing he'll magically realize he made a mistake. I don't know if this is normal??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2013):

Thank you to all that have responded to me. I know that things get better with time but a part of me feels that we could have worked on things. Like he gave up "too easily" on us. We planned on a future together, I thought I would marry this man. I don't know..I keep hanging on to hope, replaying things in my mind, but I know once he's made up his mind about something there's no changing it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI vote for normal too!

breaking up is hard to do...

and the only thing I can promise is that time will heal all wounds... and if it drags on too long, well then there's always therapy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2013):

If I am normal, then yes, you are too. I have had my heart broken three times....I honestly thought I was going through so much pain. And it got a whole lot worse before it got a whole lot better. But when it gets better.... the sun shines again, and the pain is but a memory. Give yourself A LOT of time to HEAL. Trust in 'life'. He isn't the one for you, or he would be with you. Your ONE true love will never leave you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2013):

Yes, it's perfectly normal. You're grieving for what might have been, and it may come and go for awhile.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's hard, but you'll get through it.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (6 March 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntDidja ever go to the beach and "write" something in the sand... and then watch as waves and/or tide came up and obliterated it? Heck, Pat Boone made a fortune singing about just that (see, "Love Letters in the Sand")...

Now, imagine that your thoughts and feelings about this guy are written in sand in your head... and don't feel so bad when those thoughts and feelings get erased by the rest of your life....

Good luck...

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (6 March 2013):

sugarplum786 agony auntHi, I am sorry you are hurting, but you are a lot stronger than most people, you have held onto your pride and not begged him to come back and maintained no contact.

These are two positive traits that you are moving in the right direction.

I know you dont feel that way but with time you will feel better. However, you might want to go out with friends girls/guys and hang out as oppose to going home and crying till your pillow is soaked. We all have been there and yes right now it sucks but trust me it can only get better.

Just remember if he loves you , misses you and wants you back he will come back to you - if he does not well he just lost out on a great person and you will meet someone that will appreciate you and love you the way you deserve. You need to keep busy and keep your thoughts distracted from him, eventually you will stop thinking about him.

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