A
male
age
30-35,
*usol
writes:Heres the thing. I am in a relationship with this women for a 2nd time that I love but she has cheated, insulted and said bad things about me behind my back. I have forgiven all that because I believe that, if you can't accept someone at their worst than you don't deserve them at their best but I told her a lie months back when she wanted to get together. The lie was: That I was in a relationship with my friend and that i did love her still but I loved my friend. The idea wasn't mine, it was my friends but see when I'm hurting I am so easily taken advantage of and manipulated plus my state of mind wasn't quite right. At that time, I was single and was going through the "healing state" but today I told her the truth and she got annoyed with me. I wanted forgiveness and understanding but i got far from it. Trust me not proud of it. But it had to be let out and in all I don't reget it. What I need is helpful advice to either cope or find a solution. If you can offer or share anything it would be helpful. Thankyou for taking the time to help and read this question. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 She has absolutely no respect for you, does not truly love you, and will be a constant source of pain if you continue to be in a relationship with her after what she has shown you.
To be honest, she probably only came back because she thought she had lost you(due to your lie about being in love with your friend).
So, I know you don't want to hear this, but this is kinda the likely storyline:
You love her and she realizes it and because she is manipulative and neither respects or loves you she cheats on you and treats you badly. So, when it is finally unbearable the relationship ends. I am guessing from your words that she ended the original relationship? If not, she probably didn't care a whole lot that it was over.
Then, when you lie to her and say you are in love with your friend, she is surprised because she has assumed you are hopelessly infatuated with her no matter how much she hurts you. She then finds something about you attractive again. What was it? Probably that you weren't hopelessly infatuated with you. She was losing a loyal and attentive fan.
So you get back together. THEN, you go and tell her that the only reason she became interested in you again was meaningless because...
You were hopelessly infatuated with her all along.
Now, she absolutely has no respect for you and will only increase her destructive behavior ten-fold. It has given her license to do anything and know you will still stick around.
It is time to move on. Refuse to be with someone who has cheated on you and doesn't love or respect you.
If you do not, then you can't be surprised if you find yourself completely used and miserable at this time next year.
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