A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright so I am a douche! I really like this girl who I met earlier last semester at uni, she's a first year I'm a second year and we both play squash at the same level and very often.During the christmas exams I had had enough and decided to ask her out on a date, went well although I did ask over Facebook but she said yes...but this came with it: "yeah i would however i dont know when as i have a hectic week this week and next week as my lovely mother has given me all the christmas shopping she hasnt got to do and have to help becca out with her shopping!!! i was like its not hard to go shopping!! so i dont know???" I thought fair enough thats a valid excuse she's interested try again later.A week later or two I suggested meeting up for a drink and got this: "emmm well some of us geeks have organised a get together to do some 'revision/drinking' tomorrow when everyone is back emmm so i might have to pass on that at the moment sorry unless you can put up with a drunken mess which normally happens with me!! LITTLE BIT OF OTHER NON USEFUL TEXT awww okay well i think if its okay with you i will let you know tomorrow for definant but at the moment its a no sorry but really dont think i should go out half cut as i have had bad experiences in the past when i have done that normally making such a big idiot of myself hahaha". Again thought could be a valid excuse, either way the next day she sent me a message saying she was pretty pissed.So after the holidays I decided to ask her out to the zoo after a friend said it would be a great first date, heres how she replied: "was wondering like how in decemeber we didn't go out that time, but would you want to go to the zoo together over the weekend and go for dinner together?" and no reply...We've seen each other a couple of times since then, a little bit of akwardsness towards each other but neither of us have brought it up. Oh we are both kind of shy her more than me. We went out on a pub crawl over the weekend with some squash friends and although I don't remember much I apparently didn't speak to her but might have made a fool of myself dancing shouting etc but who doesn't do that?We are playing squash again this friday and I am thinking one last shot at this, just ask her to dinner FACE TO FACE. But my question is am I keeping false hopes alive or should I not do this on friday. I'm worried because lets face it I'm not very good with the small talk to women, I can hardly think of things to say. But is it rude to ask her again? Is she interested? Should I ask her some other way? Or is there a way how I can get her interested in me more perhaps?SOrry about the rant... but I really appreciate all the help you all give :)
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (1 February 2012):
 I'd ask her out 1 more time in person.
Then if she gives you an excuse (she's not going to outwardly say no), it's time to hang it up and accept that she's not interested.
Asking her a fourth, fifth time just looks desperate and pushy. You CAN'T make a girl be interested in you.
A
female
reader, itcantjustbeme +, writes (1 February 2012):
 She may say yes to the in person invitation only because she might feel too pressured to say anything else... but mostly from what you've describe I don't think she's interested in you in the same way. It sounds corny, but have you ever read the book "He's just not that into you"? It cuts through all the BS of dating by basically saying that if you don't get a direct contact from someone you're pursuing, they're just not worth your time because you're better than that. Which you seem like a sweet guy it's probably that you just don't make her heart go pidder-padder like she wants it to. But it seems as if she values you as a friend.
Don't write her off though. Be friends, maybe she'll notice you're the catch you are and she'll start trying to get a date with you.
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