A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm really upset. I went on my first date with this guy on Saturday, and it seemed like it went well. We spent twelve hours together in total on Saturday !. I sent him a message on Sunday, saying that i enjoyed the date, and that i looked forward to seeing him again, and he said he felt the same way, and said he wanted to see me again today. He also said he was going to get a new mobile phone ( we had only been intouch on facebook before that, and had met once in person before we started keeping touch on facebook ). Anyway, he sent me a message on facebook this morning, telling me that he was going to text me his new mobile number, and about half an hour later, he sent me a text message from his phone, letting me know that that was his number. A few hours went by, and he still hadn't made arrangements to meet up, so i called him a couple of times. The first time, the phone sounded like it was crackling, so i didn't hear his voice very well. The second time i called, he told me he was going to the shop to get something to eat, and that he would call me back five minutes later, but he didn't call at all. I haven't tried to contact him at all since then. I think i'll just wait and see if he contacts me again, although, it's really difficult for me not to ask him what has happened. What do you think i should do ? I don't understand it, as he has replied to all of my messages on facebook. There are a couple of things i have found odd though. He cancelled our first date, saying it was because he didn't have any money ( he is on Incapacity Benefits ), but when i saw him on Saturday, he told me that he had also cancelled because he was nervous. Also,when i went to his house on Saturday, he didn't answer the door for quite a while, even though he had agreed to meet me, and he told me later that he had been nervous again about seeing me, but the nhe felt that he was being ignorant, and said that he wouldnt have liked it if he had gone to someone's house and they ignored him knocking on the door, so he answered, and we went out round town later on too. I'm really angry with him. Even if he was nervous again, or if it was something else, he could have had the decency to let me know.Should i ignore him if he does contact me again, or should i speak to him ?. He was the one who chose today to meet, not me. He first mentioned it on Saturday. He said he would take me out for a meal. He was supposed to arrange the time and place today. I also had to pay for all of his drinks on Saturday ( which i didn't mind at the time ). I feel like an idiot.Why did he bother sending me his new number, and why did he bother answering the phone at all ?.Do you think i have done soemthing wong, and that he doesn't like me ?. He told me that he has been talking about me alot to his friends and family though, and i know this for sure, as his friends and family have told me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): I still haven't texted him, but i really want to. I feel bad ignoring him, as obviously, i know how it feels.I do want to see him, but i don't want him to do what he did yesterday again.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 February 2012):
 Why not decide whether or YOU want to date HIm instead of trying to figure out if he wants to date you. The former empowers you. The latter leaves you hanging on a string.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): The thing is though,honeypie, does he still want to date me ?.I still dont have a clue what to say to him, or even whether i want to see him again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 February 2012):
 Don't play games with him or you will just make dating him even more difficult.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): Also, how long do you think i should wait to text him, if i decide to ? I dont want to text too soon but i dont want to leave it too long either. He seemed like a gentleman when i was out with him . He even thanked me and waited until my taxi home drove away. Thats why i'm confused. When he hung up yesterday it made me wonder if he's seeing someone else ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): I have just received a text message from him saying " I'm sorry. I love you ( my name ) ".I haven't responded yet.I'm really going to make him sweat !. What should i say if i do text him at some point though ? Should i tell him i thought that what he did was rude, or should i act like i'm not bothered ?
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (1 February 2012):
Both of you have made a few mistakes here. For starters twelve hours is far too long for a first date. And Sunday was far too soon for a second. You've heard the expression 'Always leave them wanting more'?When he told you he wanted to see you again that day, you should have left it up to him to get back to you to set that up. After a certain amount of time has passed with no word from him, you should not have tried to call him but instead made other plans. If and when he finally does contact you, you gracefully decline his invitation. This is a non confrontational way of letting him know that your time is very important and being with you is a priviledge. It is also more effective because actions speak louder than words and seeing how assertive and confident you are he will be less inclined to test your boundaries in other ways. Saying you had to cover the cost of his drinks on Saturday suggests that he came ill prepared. Very poor form on his part. Not that men should have to pay for everything all of the time, but you don't lean on someone you've just met and want to impress. He had no business inviting you out knowing he couldn't pay his own way. Very, very low class.Leaving you standing on his front step while he hid behind the door like a coward is also low brow. Is he a man or a four year old boy hiding behind his mother's apron? I don't think he is trying to play you. He seems to genuinely like you, however he isn't someone who would interest me. His behaviour thus far has been disorganised, tacky, cowardly and undeserving of a second date. You can do much better than this.
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A
female
reader, Latti +, writes (1 February 2012):
Nope...Let him contact you! He sounds wishy washy...but if you pursue him...you'll be the one chasing all the time & that's just not attractive in a lady. Allow a man to be a man! If he wants to go out again...he knows your number, email & facebook address. He doesn't sound like he's worth it.
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A
female
reader, abeytahemera19 +, writes (1 February 2012):
Let him get ahold of you, he seems really confused and thats never good. That can be frustrating. I think you should open your options more and talk to various guys enjoy yourself and not stress it. You deserve the best goodluck
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