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anonymous
writes: Hi I am 13 (male) and I need help with a sort of relationship I am having with this girl that I like. The problem is that she has a boyfriend. She keeps saying that she hates him though and she sounds like she wants to dump him. But then she suddenly likes him again. I am confused because I really want to ask her out but I'm not sure how she feels about me. Me and her have got a lot in common. We seem to think in the same way. I've tried to ask her whether she likes me in a love sort of way but she sort of ignores it and goes on to another subject. Please help me. I really want to go out with her!!!
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reader, curlygurly +, writes (25 June 2005):
Hiya I'm 13 female and I always think my boyfriend doesn't love me .. and fancies someeone else .. but dont think about the bad things. Keep thinking she will say yes, and if she says yes..you are happy .. but if she says no and be cool with it. If you are all upset she will think you're pathetic and will not want to go out with you. So just act cool like it doesn't bother you then talk to a mate about it. Hope this helps.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 June 2005):
 Hi hon,
Her silence when you asked her if she liked you in a romantic way says a lot, don't you think? It suggests to me that she's not really sure that she thinks of you as a boyfriend at this time.
But don't take this too much to heart. She also sounds pretty unhappy with her current boyfriend, so maybe she's just not emotionally ready for a relationship yet. Remember, age 13 is REALLY young to be dating and worrying about boyfriends. Don't believe the TV hype; nobody is ready for dating at thirteen! (That doesn't mean you're not interested in the other sex, just that Dating-with-a-capital-D is too full-on for youngsters who are barely into their teens.)
My suggestion at this time is to stick with this girl and just be around as a friend. You say you have common interests, so do those things together. Don't worry too much about defining your relationship... who cares, really, if you're calling yourselves "boyfriend and girlfriend", as long as you're together and having fun?
It is 100% certain that she'll break up with her current boyfriend some time in the future (you'd be hard-pressed to find any married couple that say "Yes, we've been together for 50 years... ever since we were thirteen! We never even dated anyone else!"), so be around, be her friend, do things you enjoy with her, as a friend. And one day in the future, she'll be free to date you, if you're still interested then.
Maybe by then, she'll have grown up a little and really be ready for the strain and confusion of having a boyfriend, too.
Good luck. Be patient. Be a friend.
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