A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I crazy?I met this guy who is bi curious, yet I have a boyfriend – whom I live with. My boyfriend isn’t out to his family who is staying with us for quite sometime he also has a job in which he is in the eye of the public and must appear made up at all times. There is a significance age difference of 10 years between us. We sleep in different rooms at the time being and barely associate, and when we do it doesn’t end well. Well his family is staying with us I am his ‘roommate’. I told him there will be no sex well his family is around. He went away on business and well… I have no clue what goes on. He likes to keep things very secretive, but I did find out there was a unknown man in his hotel room – for what I do not know – he says just friends, but why am I not told any of his plans. Anyway – well his family is here, we are drifting a part. I’m becoming curious and usually I am not one to venture out on my own – lately I have been, and he is getting very much over protective. It appears okay for him to go out but not me. He thinks I am hooking up with everyone. I did give someone head – the bi curious guy. But my boyfriend did say I could experiment around with 5 people to help better figure myself out(which is kinda messed up). So far I’ve only met 2 and pretty much haven’t done anything with one. Problem is I keep talking with the bi curious guy, and I am super confused as to what the bi curious guy wants from me, and I am confused as to what to do with my relationship he’s flipping out on me just for going out yet he gave me permission yet says I don’t have permission anymore I’m getting rather confused– I do care about him a great deal but I need some kinda of substance right now since he can’t give me any because he’s in hiding from his family. With the bi curious guy I don’t want to feel responsible for being a influence on him for his sexuality. He told me he hooked up with a few guys, and he usually doesn’t date, or chat with them after. We’ve hung out a few times, 3 times this past week, and we talk everyday. He told me he’s only into guys giving him head, but he usually doesn’t hook up twice, and he isn’t into people he’s not attracted too. We seem to be talking all day. He calls me at least 10 times a day and just tonight we went to a movie and talked till 5 am. (it would have been the most perfect date, - no one was in the movie theatre and it started snowing as we left) He says I’m a really cool guy and he enjoys hanging out and chatting and that he doesn’t ever bring gay people he meets over to his place (he lives with his parents) or talk to them everyday. Recently he told me he wants to keep seeing me, but he doesn’t want my boyfriend to know. Crazy thing is they know each other, but he thinks the bi curious guy is straight. I can’t even tell my boyfriend who I’m hanging out with. I am getting mixed messages from mr. bi curious and my boyfriend. I don’t want Mr Bi curious to fall for me. And I don’t want to feel responsible if he chooses he’s indeed gay. I hope that made some sense, and thank you to all who anwser for your input.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): Thanks - it kind of helps. I do keep talking with Mr. Bi curious till all hours of the night. What it means, I can't figure it out. I keep trying to say something that might make him uninterested but he just keeps coming back. We even fell asleep on the phone together. I can't understand what he wants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess that’ll be my next question.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 No wonder you're confused. You want to be loved and appreciated yet aren't getting either from any of these men. Your boyfriend you live with seems to want to hide from his family and go out to do god knows what! There's definitely a lack of trust on your part there. He seems to be blowing hot and cold with you, wanting you to experiment one day then wanting you to be "his" the next.
The bi curious guy is contradicting himself too. He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship yet is talking to you for hours on end, spending time with you. He says he's only into guys giving him head. Seems like he enjoys it but it's one sided and he seems reluctant to explore his sexuality further. You enjoy his company, you NEED to be loved and cared for and this man is showing you time and attention, hence the reason you continue to see him unawares where it will lead.
My advice to you is to ask your boyfriend's parents how much longer they'll be staying. You and your partner will never move forward as long as they remain living with you. You both seem to care for one another but the distance is growing because there is no intimacy between you that you both yearn for. In time your partner WILL seek it somewhere else as he has needs too and you've already started by giving the bi curious guy head. Don't be used by Mr bi-curious! You're only serving a purpose for him just now, he's already told you that he sees other guys so be careful you don't end up with an STD.
Sort your life out and choose who YOU really want to be with! If you don't you'll continue to be used and in time your confidence and worth will take a nose dive. Go for what you REALLY... and only YOU really know what makes you fulfilled.
Eve
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A
male
reader, Joethepro +, writes (9 November 2007):
 ever seen brokeback mountain? your question is relative to the issues made in that movie. maybe it miGHT help you out? sorry if this answer is not very informative as i have an appointment with the doctor soon :(gud luck and enjoy life as it is your own and you only have one chance at it. :)
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