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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: It's been three months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He wasn't good for me at all- was in to drugs, ladies man, lied alot, had no morals, no motivation, and was super sneaky. But I can't stop thinking about the good times. I miss the company and him caring. I had been warned about him, but he pursued me and seemed genuine. He always said all the right things, was charming, very good looking and always wanted to be with me. He told me how much he cared, how different I was from everyone else, how he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.Then out of the blue he says we're just too different and we won't work out. This was over the phone and he hasnt spoken to me since. I texted 2 months later saying I didnt want to be enemies, I know we wouldnt have worked out but I still hope he is well. He responded that he had no hard feelings against me, feels the same way, and wished me well. I just can't get over him! I was unhappy at my university for awhile and being with him made me so happy. Now I feel lost. I know it's been awhile and I know he was a horrible match for me. I'm dating again, but I seem to keep finding guys who party too hard for me. I can't stop looking back over our good times or thinking about everything we did and it makes me so sad. I deleted his number and all our texts, yesterday I deleted him from facebook because I was checking it everyday and feeling sad. Sometimes I just walk around thinking about him. I wish I could run into him so maybe we could talk, yet I want to avoid him as well. How can he just act like nothing happened and he's over it and doesn't care? This is just so hard for me to accept. I know this sounds pathetic, but I really loved him and am a bit lost right now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2013): I am currently going through a similar situation, my boyfriend finished with me 5 days ago via facebook. He refuses to talk to me or see me and says its all my fault, tht i shouted too much and he couldnt do anything right, which is not true! Well kind of true, he did nothing right, i should have dumped him.My advice to you would be to never contact him again! you did the right thing deleting him from facebook and deleting the text messages. It can take a long time to get over someone, its a bit like a death one minute theyre there and the next they are gone. You get used to speaking to him everyday planning your evenings together, planning your future together and when that is gone it feels like your world is falling apart but honestly it is not!I do feel rubbish at the moment and I do miss him but the more he hurts me and treats me bad the less i miss him! Some men can be very selfish and their problem is they love themselves more than any other person in the world. He probably does care but unfortunately cares more for himself than you and you need to do the same thing. Stop thinking about what would have been your future because it is just a fantasy he put in your headWhat i am doing at the moment is keeping myself busy planning my week and what im going to do such as hanging with friends, seeing family, work. I have had the same thing with my first boyfriend and i got over it, i know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and he will not break me down! and you will do the same thing :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): I have this same problem. With the exception that you sound like maybe you like "bad boys" and I don't go for that. Please find a way to move on. Don't waste years like I have looking back and only remembering all of the good times. Do what you have to. Make a list of all of the crappy things about him and that he did and said to you and read it whenever you get nostalgic. Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it *hard* every time you get a happy wistful thought about Mr. Glad He's Gone. I would suggest Evan Marc Katz' blog about relationships. There's one post about getting over a guy and he says something about all you really need to know about this guy is that he left you (or he let you leave him). Your husband doesn't leave you. The MAN you end up with is the guy who thinks you're worth it and STAYS. If this guy didn't do all it took to keep you or come crawling back on his knees begging forgiveness for his jerkiness, that's all you need to know. He is not in it for the long haul, he doesn't love you and he doesn't think you're worth it. Don't give a boy like this any more of your precious time or any power over you.
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A
female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86  +, writes (12 March 2013):
1. You miss the company that's all everyone get's that when they split up with someone.
2. He was probably scared of commitment, some men take off where commitment is concerned. The ladies men in particular.
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