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anonymous
writes: Ok, I really need some advice having to do with my "ex" (god it hurts to say that) girlfriend breaking up with me. We have had a long distance relationship for about 2 years and managed to see each other once every few weeks including summers/winters, etc... About two months ago "we" decided to go on a break (it didn't mean much for me, I just needed more time to work and go to school) and my ex went out with her friends and got drunk, got on a couple of guys I guess, etc... Now we're back in the same area and she is acting completely different. She isn't engaged when I'm emotional, she doesnt act like she cares about my feelings or wants to help me feel better. I dont know what I should do - I have told her to not get in touch with me, but it is so painful to not have her near me or wanting me. I need to know what I should do to get all of this off my mind... last night i went on a 4 mile run but i ended up needing her to pick me up. she seems to have changed completely, now she is much more interested in drinking and partying with friends than she ever was. I am an extremely jelous and emotional individual and I just want things to be how they were before - but I dont know how I can make her change. please give me any advice that you can on the situation.. thanks
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reader, respect4me +, writes (17 May 2005):
I think you should tell her. In a letter, if you find it too hard to talk to her and should say how you're feeing adn then you can sort things you. If she doesn't know you're feeling like this, then how can she help? And even if she says 'nothing can ever happen', then you can let go and rebuild your lifeJoin a club that you're interested in, make a new yu ans show her what she's missing. Hope I've helped.
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reader, rphillips +, writes (17 May 2005):
The first thing you must realize is that you can not make a person change. No matter how bad you are hurting, no matter how much you want it, no matter how much you miss her, you can not make her change the way she feels about you.And that totally sucks. Once you accept the fact that you can not make her change you can start to heal and move on with your life.And it is not going to be easy. You will still miss her. And you might think of her at strange times. TRUST ME ON THIS. I am speaking from experience. I broke up with my fiance last November and I still miss him. The whole point in life is to live and you can't live when you are moping around about a lost love.So live you life. Stay active. Don't go on any 4K runs. Try a 2K run where you don't need her to pick you up. Work out at the gym. Meet some new girls. Take a class. Volunteer. Do something so you stay busy and don't find yourself thinking of her.And when you do think of her. Remember all the bad times too. Not just the good. Too often people just remember the good old times. But the good old times were never just good. Make yourself remember the bad. You did the right thing by asking her not to get in touch with you. Let her go, live your life, and find a new love.
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