A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i met this guy online about two weeks ago. we are planing to meet in june. we have had phonesex twice. he is 30 and im 20. i know if we do meet we will have sex. and i want to. i just dont want him to think that i am a slut. what would you think if this happened to you? (guys opinion). do u think i should meet him???? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): I think it's not a good idea -- you have no real idea who this person is... Why not hang out and plan the date for a day time outing before you take things further? He might just want to meet up for sex and if that's what you are going for as well, then expect that he may not contact you again after. It's a risk you'd be taking and I don't think it's worth it!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): There is nothing wrong with meeting him, but personally if it was me, id hold out on sex until i knew he was serious about "us". Especially because you met him online. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with online dating, but you just have to take it that bit slower.
You need to take it slower for lots of reasons, they may not be who they say they are, particularly if he is 10 yrs older, in his 30's he may be married, have a partner, have kids and you really don't know until you meet them a few times and have proper conversations with them to get to know their lifestyle,opinions.
Then there is also the issue of STD's or other issues that may not be obvious on face value, but can only be found out over time.
It would be very very risky to have sex with this man too soon. Get to really know him better ask lots of questions about himself to build up a true realistic idea of his character. So yes meet him,(in broad daylight, with lots of people around to make sure you are safe!)but NO don't have sex!
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A
female
reader, auntyR  +, writes (1 May 2011):
don't even meet him! go out with your friends and enjoy yourself. You can't and shouldn't go and meet some random stranger from the internet and then have sex with them. You don't even no him. Plus him being 10 years older then you can cause a few problems, he may be controlling and possesive. Stand him up and get away from cyber world and get into reality.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): Having phone sex twice within 2 weeks of meeting online... sounds pretty questionable already. Sex on a first in-person date... questionable behavior again.I know you wanted guys' opinion but oh well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): The fact that you're even asking tells us you know you shouldn't. As the other aunt has stated, two weeks is far too soon for a face to face meet, especially if you think sex is on the menu. As for what he will think if you sleep with him on a first date. Let's see...he'll think you're good for short term diversion, but not long term commitment. He will assume that if you met and slept with him this easily you've probably done this before, or would in future, with other men and he won't believe 'I'm not usually like this'. He won't work as hard to impress you because he'll have already had you. Eventually you'll hear from him less often. He'll claim he's busy and he may even reassure you he has feelings for you, but you'll suspect he's losing interest. And you'll be right.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 May 2011):
 Honestly? I think you should put off the meeting. Two weeks is a really short time on the internet. A week on the internet is like a day in real life. Would you have sex with a guy you met in person after two days?
You hardly know him, and to be honest, you need to be really cautious when it comes to internet relationships. Forget about whether or not you'll be a slut, and think about your safety.
Remember, someone can portray anyone they want to be online. You've never seen him in real life. You could not like what he looks like, or not mesh in person like you do online.
Again, I highly recommend putting off the meeting until you know him better and are able to verify that he is who he says he is (no hidden wives or sex offender status or criminal record).
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