A
female
age
36-40,
*elle2472002
writes:So, I am in a relationship of over 7 years with 2 kids, and we went through this situation when he cheated with this girl from his job. i don't know how far it went with her honestly, other than a make out session at work. now i moved on from this but i cant completely when he still works at the job where she is, and claims they don't talk anymore other than hi and bye. he's part time at this job and is only there on saturdays for like 6 hours. am i wrong for feeling some type way about this even though he's claimed hes changed and doesnt want to lose me or his family? i just cant help but be uneasy at how they still can be slick if they wanted to, since they may see eachother when hes there.
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female
reader, nelle2472002 +, writes (1 May 2011):
nelle2472002 is verified as being by the original poster of the question To the anonymous writer, no he did not openly tell me this. He got caught texting her all hours of the night while i'm sleep, then again through email once they seen they got caught that way. To You Wish, Yes I do understand what you are saying. I think he should leave the job as well. Everytime he is there I suspect or think negative things because its happened when i thought everything was all fine and well. He gets certain perks about working there even part time and don't want to lose those perks like discounts on the stuff he loves to do half of the day. I just can't trust him and i tried but it always plays back in my mind. but, thank you for your advice it is greatly appreciated.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 May 2011):
 The simple answer is that you can't trust him, and you shouldn't trust him. He cheated and shattered your trust. You didn't have to forgive him, but you did. However, forgiveness doesn't equal a restoration in the trust that was lost. That takes time.
If he had been working a full time job with her, it would be a little dicier in terms of getting a new job, but you say that he's only working part time on Saturdays? Sorry, but unless he's making $100 or working for the CIA, those jobs are a dime a dozen.
He needs to get away from her and never be where she is. You can't believe his claims. Believe his actions. If he's serious about rebuilding trust and making things work with you, he will leave that job and find a new one. No 6 hour Saturday job is worth a relationship if it puts him in contact with the girl.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): So he came clean on his own accord about the cheating because he wanted to start and open and honest relationship with you? That would be evidence of a man willing to change. One that was caught cheating or called out on it and then admitted is a man on good behavior...a man who will say anything to not deal with the consequences. Men like this are far from changing.
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