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female
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anonymous
writes:Hey I am a 17 year old girl, and I have been in love with an english teacher at my school for the past 2 years( He is in his early thirties). I want him so much, I know I do, it is not just infatuation. However, I don't want his career to be compromised as a result of me perhaps letting him know how I feel. I realise that a teacher is in a trusted position and a relationship between us would be frowned upon. I am in my last year of school, and I live in the UK which means I am over the legal age of consent, so I just want to clarify that technically, I'm not being unrealistic. What should I do? Please don't say 'forget about him' Because I can't. I love him. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2006): I know how you feel, though you says its definitely not infatuation. I was "in love" with a man for about 2 1/2 years and thought my feelings for him would never fade. But he was a a bit older than me so i had to wait a little bit. And we went out and I thought it was perfect, but after we got a little serious, I realized he wasnt so perfect after all. You cant say its love until youve gotten to know the whole him.
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female
reader, Jess2006 +, writes (2 January 2006):
Hey there,
I know how you feel; I'm 17 and in love with my English teacher too, and I'm not going to say forget about him because I know how impossible that would be.
What I am going to say though, is there is very little chance that it would work out between the two of you. He's probably looking for someone older and more mature, ready to get married, settle down and maybe have children. I know I'm no one to tell you what you are ready for, but you'd have to think carefully about these things if you did consider chancing a relationship with him when you leave school.
Are you planning on going to University? That could be a problem too, as you would be away from each other a lot and you would be surrounded by people closer to your own age, some of whom you may also develop feelings for.
I think that the best thing to do is to stay friends if you believe there really is a bond between you and see how you feel in a few years, perhaps in your mid-twenties, when he will look upon you as an equal adult and not just an ex-student, and if you are still friends at that point you will know there is a definite bond which you might be able to take further.
There's really no need to rush into anything - you've got your whole life to find the perfect guy. Have a look around before you decide that this teacher is the one and maybe make a big mistake.
Good luck, and take care,
Jess
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2005): I think that you should wait until you finish school and then reassess your feelings for him. Think to yourself, 'do i still fancy him?' 'would it work between us?' and, most importantly, 'does he feel the same way?' If the answers to these questions are all 'yes', then tell him how you feel. I just advise that you wait until you leave school to tell him, as then you won't get him into trouble, you'll save yourself a lot of hassle from the school, not to mention your classmates (these things tend to travel fast) and it won't be as awkward if he doesn't feel the same way, as you won't see him every day at school.
I hope my advice helps *^_^*
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reader, pops +, writes (16 October 2005):
His job is history if you have anything to do with him while you are under 18, and still attending the school. Once you are no longer the responsibility of your parents, and no longer a student at the school where he works, the two of you can do as you choose. Wait for it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2005): Not only is there a huge age gap but there is also that teacher pupil no go area, if you tell him how you feel you will make your time at school very difficult and arkward i know you said not to say forget him but i have to say it this is not a situation you want to put yourself in and if you have any feelings for him you wont want to put him in the situation either.
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female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (16 October 2005):
Well, you have to think about him first of all. What would everyone else think for a teacher in his 30s to be going out with a 17 year old? And you have to think about whether he likes you in the same way. What if he's married? And has kids? I know you don't want to hear it but, just forget about him. It's for the best, find someone around your own age to date. You'll soon forget about him.
Kay-the-Cloud
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