A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Over time my boyfriend of many years has gained weight(now 25yrs old and 5'10")...he went from 135 lbs and is now at 190. It was a goal for him to gain some weight since he was so thin. I'm not attracted to his body. Um, he has no neck...well, major double chin and his member looks smaller! Sad for me b/c when we're intimate I'm disgusted...how do I bring up the subject of losing weight. I run and have invited him but the answer is always no. He got a gym membership about a year ago on his own and went for about a month. I was sure to slip in compliments but then slowly he had stopped going. I want to be attracted to him and not seem so shallow. But dang...the neck and member thing is such a turn off. Please, any feedback is appreciated. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice. I never thought of the idea of playing a sport....I know he owns a basketball. We should dust it off =)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): You arent being shallow at all, you used to be really attracted to this man, and you miss the person you fell for and were initially attracted too. All relationships need at least some level of physical attraction to work. I suggest you just keep trying to help him work out. Maybe try a dance class or something. Do something fun and physical that he can enjoy. Go out and play some sports and just try to encourage him to get up and get active. If he refuses and he isnt willing to do anything at all, just try to talk to him about it. Say you are worried about him with all the weight he has put on and want to help him stay fit and healthy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): Well, at 5 ft 10, he is definitely overweight at 190 pounds unless he is a bodybuilder and is very muscular. From what you say that is not the situation. He really should lose at least 15 pounds.
Now to his getting shorter thing. The penis is attached to the pubic bone. When a guy gains weight that is fat then there is more fat covering the pubic bone. That means that the part of the penis that is visible is shorter. So yes, gaining fat will make the penis functionally shorter.
I don't know how to convince him to lose weight. You could threaten to leave him, but that is a bad way in my opinion and would just cause more problems. However, I think that you have to let him know that his weight is making sex less enjoyable for you and that it is not a situation that makes you want to have sex with him. Sex is a good motivator for most guys, so perhaps that would work. Other than that, I have no suggestions. A person has to want to do something to get them to do it. It is nearly impossible to make someone do something.
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