A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm sorry if this is a little long but here goes....I dated a girl last year for about 6 months and I completely fell in love with her, she'd tell me she loved me too and i'd never been happier in my life.This is why I was devastated when she suddenly ended it. She told me she wanted to be alone and didn't want to drag me down with any problems she had outside of me.After she left me we kept in contact and kept seeing eachother (she'd still come over and spend the night etc). I knew at the time that this was a bad idea as i'd only find it harder to get over her but I didnt care because I just wanted to be with her.I then found out that after about 4 weeks of leaving me she had a new boyfriend, I couldn't deal with it and asked her to leave me alone as the only way I could get over it was to cut her out of my life.She attempted to contact me a number of times since then (this was november when i asked her to stay away) but I ignored her. I finaly gave in about a month ago when she text me and replied.I found out she'd left her B/f a while ago and she then started telling me she missed me etc.I arranged to meet up with her a couple of weeks ago and we ended up spending the night together. It was amazing, it felt like we'd never been apart. After that night we continued to contact eachother as if we were dating again and she even came over to stay with me about a week ago.Since then though this girl has become really distant with me and seems uninterested with me.She's gone from texting me all day everyday and wanting to know what i'm doing to barely even speaking to me.She tells me she still likes me and wants to take things slow but do you think she's lost interest?I'm so confused as to what to do! I still love this girl but am I stupid for hoping that we could be together again?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 I sounds like she is using you as her back up plan. I know you love her but she doesn't love you, at least not enough. I'm afraid you will have to go back to the no contact rule. That is the only way you will be able to heal. Otherwise she will pop in and out of your life and each time she will rip off the scab and you'll have to start all over again.
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