A
female
age
30-35,
*XAlexxX
writes:I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend, and because of the time difference and the fact that his work schedule changed a few weeks ago, we only get to talk for about 10 minutes a day in the week, when one of us is getting up and one going to bed.I was really looking foward to having a long chat before I went to work tonight,as he doesn't have to be up tomorrow morning for work, but he messaged me to say he was going to play pool after work with some new friends, and I was like 'oh I'm so glad you're making friends, I can't wait to talk when you get in'and he was like 'yeah I cant wait to have a long chat later'Anyway, I was sitting there all morning PROPER looking forward to him getting back, and eventually when it was really late (looong after pool clubs would close in oz) I got abit worried and messaged him to see if he was ok, and he was like 'oh yeah got back ages ago lol, was watching game movies im off to bed now though'I'm proper furious - he blew off the one other night we had put aside to have a good chat this week so he could go to his mates and look at making a 'game room' in his garage.It's like going out with a 14 year old, not a 24 year old!!!I schedule pretty much everything so that we can talk for the maximum ammount of time, including getting up early and going to bed really late.How can I make him see that this lack of effort on his part is REALLY upsetting me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): He's not taking this seriously.
Give him a reason to.
If he doesn't, get out.
Simple enough. Happens with many LDR.
A
male
reader, Western3589  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Jannie is 100% right
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): hunny i no this sounds really horrible but a ldr can only work if both r commited and it sounds like hes really messing u around. Wen do u actually get to see eachother? The only thing u can do is give an ultimatum start makin an effort or its over!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 So I see that your boyfriend is a few years older than you so you might think he can maintain an intimate conversation with you. Men are like wine, they mature very slowly. Not every guy is like CaringGuy here. Where is this dearcupid uncle nowadays?
Stop scheduling time for him. He has to work hard for it. Don't talk to him until he shows signs that he's afraid of losing you to somebody more mature and more caring. This may be a sign that this LDR is having too much strain. Also watch what your conversations are about. If they are not as fun and exciting as sports games and video games, he would probably lose interest. While no one can be happy everyday, just make sure that out of 5 days you have 4 days that you can be upbeat, otherwise don't talk to him at all. I think talking to us would actually yield better results. If he can't be sensitive and empathic, then he's probably not long term material.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Uh, sounds like a really pathetic relationship here. You should really find someone local...you know who you can talk to and do things, face to face? This is not an LDR...this is a comedy!
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