A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So me and my friend J, we've been friends for years, but in the beginning I had a serious crush on him, while I was with my boyfriend at the time. We had a moment, but no sex, and I recommitted myself to my boyfriend. He told me he loved me a few times over the years, but I assumed he was joking. Earlier this year me and him finally hooked up. It was for the sex at first, but I really fell for him hard. At this time he's also engaged. We were on the low for 4 months. Today he's getting married and I feel hurt because I know he doesn't like his fiance (avoids her calls), he says I'm prettier and that he can be more free around me then her. So then why is he getting married? I honestly think he made a dumb decision and was past the point financially to say anything so he's going along with this wedding just cause. I know he cares about both of us but I know he'd be happier with me. He says he's been having dreams of them divorcing. I wish it didn't come to this. I love him and I know he still loves me. Also at this time I'm with my ex-boyfriend who wants to get back with me. J doesn't want me to marry my ex. I've been waiting for feelings to come back for my ex but they are slow and seldom. I don't know what I should do. Part of me wants to push both of them away, but I don't know it remaining optimistic will pay off like it does in the movies, without making me look stupid. Help :O
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): Sorry hun, but you do need to leave them both behind and look to someone in the future for happiness. It is highly unlikely that you will feel love with your ex and J is jerking you around. When a man's words and actions contradict each other...always look at the actions to see the truth. It is easy for him to lie to you with the things he is telling you, but he is marrying this woman and I am sure she would not be marrying him if he isn't telling her that he loves her. He just wants to keep you in the wings :(
Life is made up of little choices...choose wisely for yourself and you will have a happy life.
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