A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 29 yr old black female I've have been in a relationship for a year now my boyfriend doesnt want to have sex he say's it's because he doesn't want to get me pregnant, he has to work etc. If i try to make a move he turns on his stomach wow, just excuse after excuse. My other problem is whenever we have sex (2 to 3 times a month) I am not being satisfied it never lasts more than a few minutes. Plus he has a bad attitude I'm starting not to like him. I want to break up but am scared he will get mad and try to tear up my house! It's just not working! Please help! I don't kno what to do Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): If it's your place then just pack up his stuff, change the locks and leave his stuff outside, if he causes any issues then you call the cops.
Or alternatively you could tell him that you're broken up and to come over and collect his stuff and have the cops already there for protection.
OP if he's the kind of guy that flies off the handle then make sure you have the police there, if any male relatives over to be there for you instead only say yes if you're going include the police too.
American cops are great that way OP, they take the 'protect and serve' part of their job very seriously, if you are legally entitled to ask him to leave and if you feel there may be a threat to your person or property then they'll want to be there to prevent that.
If that's not the case and you have no legal recourse to make him leave them you leave instead, just wait until he's out of the house have someone come over and help you move your stuff and well have the police there too just to make sure.
I think you get the point OP, you pay these cops with your taxes to protect you, there is nothing to be scared of in life because they're there to watch your back. So just make use of that service.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Does he live with you? If he is a serious threat, violent etc, then have someone with you when you break up with him. If he has keys to your home, ask to have the keys returned right there and then (you could also change the locks to the door), and that he can come and collect his belongings later. Again, when he comes to collect his belongings, have someone with you so you are not alone with him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 May 2011):
 and you either own the house he's living in with you or your name is on the lease correct?
can you change the locks while he's at work and tell him that it's over?
if you are afraid for your life you could ask the police to help you...they often will just show up if you ask them to come over while you tell him he has to move out...
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A
female
reader, watshername23 +, writes (25 May 2011):
 You should definitely leave this man, I mean, what are you getting from this relationship? What is he giving you? Ask yourself these questions. And if you're afraid of him tearing up your house then stay somewhere where you feel safe, change the locks. Does he ever hurt you? If he does, you dont deserve that, you can do a whole lot better, every woman deserves a nice man. I hope I have helped and I wish you the very best.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Hi
This man is using you, and sounds like he is getting his oats elswhere too. Of course you wont be satisfied, who would be with a few minutes sex? You would probally get more excitment from reading a book!
If you fear he would smash up your home, you need to make sure you do this wisely. I.E pack his things while his at work, get the locks changed, and ask him to meet you somewhere you know you would be safe, give him his things and tell him it's over, and that you can not live like this anymore. do NOT under any circumstances fall for any tears, or promises of change because my guess is he wont, he would just want to get back into the house, and then who knows what he will do. you will be able to get your life back, and meet someone who deserves you xx
hope this has helped
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