A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: okay, i want to pursue this guy that i find really attractive. But i don't know if he's attracted to me, so i'm a little hesitant. I'm a shy person, and not very outgoing. I find it hard to come on to guys. So i would like some advice on how to. I also would like extra input on whether or not this guy that i find REALLY attracted, feels the same way. This may be hard for you to determine because i'm just going from his body language. I've noticed he looks at me a lot when im around, and he gets really shy around me 2, when he's talking to someone else, his eyes seem to wander toward me. I've had many occasions where both of us were looking at each other, but we both quickly looked away. We are two very shy people, so neither of us has made a move.
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male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (18 November 2008):
If he's shy, you may be hard-pressed to find any real "tell-tale" signs that he fancies you.
Does he seem to try and engage you in idle conversation or small-talk? Does he try to stand near your or close to you when in a group with other people? Does he seem like he's earnestly interested in the things you have to say, perhaps more than he is with other people?
If you've got a friend(s) you can confide in, perhaps you could get them to intervene and help you out... if not by talking to him for you, maybe they could set the two of you up on a date.
This is just an example, maybe a little silly or cliche, but just a jumping off point:
You, him, and your friends agree to see a movie as a group. Suddenly (but not surprisingly to you), your friends bail out, leaving just you and him to see the movie.
If you haven't any friends that would help you like this... perhaps just try talking with him some. Start up some idle chat. Talk about casual stuff... how your day's going, how he's doing, etc. If it seems like he's actively trying to keep the conversation going, that's a great sign. Just keep it up and gradually close the personal distance between you two till one of you asks the other out on a date.
If it seems like he's avoiding conversation, that's not necessarily a bad sign... it could just mean that he's REALLY shy... but it also means it'll be a little harder. If this is the case, you'll have to decide if you're willing to be more direct and forward with him.
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