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Its gotten violent..then its better..why?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *oshgw22 writes:

Things have taken a turn for the worse since my first posting;

"I feel a break up coming on and am trying to determine exactly why?""

and my second;

"She's lying to my face about things going on!"

That night I posted my second question things got really heated, she was mad at my attitude and the way i was acting, well one thing led to another and she pulled the internet cable out of the pc i was using, i then went to grab a ciggarrette and she grabbed the pack first, i went to grab it out of her hand and she hit me, in the eyebrow area with my glasses on and gave me a cut( 2 cuts) she felt horrible and then we started talking camly later that night and now were getting along but i cant help but feel that things are still not right.

she seems to not want to have any physical contact like kissing or sex but does want to me hold her and run my fingers through her hair and stuff like that, and tells me that she has never cheated, loves me with all her heart and only me and only wants me. what is going on in her head, from a womens perspective.

I just don't know how I should carry myself (my actions/ towards her and this situation) becouse I don't know what is going on in her head. Is she telling the truth or is she hiding something from me and if so what and why?

View related questions: a break, kissing, the internet, violent

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A female reader, Legioness United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2009):

Legioness agony auntI've witnessed a similar senario with a couple of my friends- it turned out she was getting fed up of her life, and her man, and she would crack and lose it sometimes, but she stayed in the relationship even though she didn't really want to because she just didn't want to be alone. Sit your girlfriend down and talk to her, be open and honest, tell her to be aswell. If it's not that easy (I know sometimes it cant be) write her a letter, tell her to write one back (the letter ideas good cos no one can interrupt or shout/blow things out of proportion) see how things go, then pm me if you want and i'll be more than happy to help you from there :) all the best x becky x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009):

Sounds like you're walking on eggshells. That's no way to have to live. She needs professional help and if unwilling to seek it out, there is nothing you can do, but begin to take care of yourself...and that may possibly mean removing yourself from the situation.

She may not be lying to you, she may not Know what is going on with her emotionally.

I suggest you try talking to her calmly when things are not so volital and unpredictable.

It is difficult to live under those conditions, and it will take a toll on you too. If seeking help is unacceptable to her, you may have to take a break.

By the way, it always gets better temporarily, before it gets even worse than the last time!

By the time I removed myself from a violent situation that had started out like what you describe...I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and had to work very hard to feel normal again. My situation escalated to the point that I truly feared for my life. The best thing I ever did was walk away! It will be 2 years in August, since I left and I can honestly say, my life is once again normal! It wasn't easy, but well worth it!

Good Luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009):

Sounds like you're walking on eggshells. That's no way to have to live. She needs professional help and if unwilling to seek it out, there is nothing you can do, but begin to take care of yourself...and that may possibly mean removing yourself from the situation.

She may not be lying to you, she may not Know what is going on with her emotionally.

I suggest you try talking to her calmly when things are not so volital and unpredictable.

It is difficult to live under those conditions, and it will take a toll on you too. If seeking help is unacceptable to her, you may have to take a break.

By the time I removed myself from a violent situation that had started out like what you describe...I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and had to work very hard to feel normal again. My situation escalated to the point that I truly feared for my life. The best thing I ever did was walk away! It will be 2 years in August, since I left and I can honestly say, my life is once again normal! It wasn't easy, but well worth it!

Good Luck!

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