A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I had a hugh crush on this guy in high school, I mean three years of high school. He was the one for me only I made the mistake (as most young girls do) by telling my friends. Soon it was all over. He knew but never said anything to me about it. I never told him either. Now forward a little bit to after graduation, he went into the navy and began writing me while he was there. When he got out of bootcamp he was home on leave and called me. We got together and of course some things happen. While we did not have intercourse other things happen. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He had to go back to the ship and then I NEVER heard from him again, well at least until recently. I never forgot him, he was my first love. He found me on classmates about 10 years ago and emailed me, I never responded. Then this past May he emailed me again so I finally responded. It's been over thirty years since I have seen him in person or talked to him in anyway. He asked to see me in person, and I have so far given excuses as to why I can't meet in person. He really hurt me, but I still love him. We have been emailing pretty reguarly, and he has told me things like he thought I was hot in high school, I had great legs, that I was one of his best friends in high school. He has apolized so many times to me in emails about the way he left and never came back. He told me that it is all his fault not mine. He says that he felt like he had taken advantage of me that night and he has felt like a ass ever since. He told me he has always wanted to contact me but felt that he would be the only one to benefit from that. He did not want to come into my life and mess things up again. He tells me, no begs me that he still wants to see me in person and talk to me about how much of a jerk he was and he wants to apolize to me in person. He said he can't rest until he does it in person. I do want to see him again, you have no idea how much. I have gained some weight so I am trying to lose a little of it. While I know I will never look like I did in high school I just want to lose a little bit and have a little self confindence in myself. He has a girlfriend and I have seen pictures of her, however he never brings her to anything like high school reunions, or family functions. I am not really sure why. The reason I know she does not come to anything is I have seen pictures of these functions by other people I know that know him. My question is do I meet up with him, why is he emailing me and telling me thoughts that he had of me in high school. He told me he was painfully shy and so afraid of rejection in high school. Not to mention that he was into drugs (i did not know this) and he did not want me to witness that. He seemed to want to protect me and is a great defender of women. He is the guy that would always hold open a door for a girl, and let her go first. Not a lot of that going on in high school lol. What do I do. Does anyone have any thoughts on why he is emailing me? Why he wants to see me in person so much. Do you think he wants to rekindle something or that I am going to get hurt again. I am not looking to have sex or jump into bed with him if I meet up with him. I have grown up a little since high school, but I know the feelings will be there as they are right now.
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (11 August 2012):
 Hi,
Whatever this meeting will lead to, I think it will be good for the both of you. Just make sure not to expect anything, because he's in a relationship, I am saying this, because I don't want you to have expectations, then get hurt again. Don't think too much, don't plan anything. Just go with the flow. He wants to apologize in person, I am sure he has other things he wants to share with you. Also, this can be a good opportunity to let him know how you felt, and feel about him. It's always good to let everything inside go. I am not sure what are his intensions, but soon you'll know. Just go meet him...
Good luck/best wishes.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 August 2012):
 If nobody has ever seen any evidence of his girlfriend how can you be sure she exists? He may simply have the gift of the gab and the ability to fabricate a good story into better.
I would be wary, he may simply have run out of women willing to look after him and you are next on the list.
Blunt yeah, but there is no harm in protecting yourself, no need to go in there eyes all a-glisten and heart open to more of his treatment.
If you currently have a husband or partner invite him along with you, arrange before hand if it appears all is aboveboard, your husb/partner can wander off to look at something giving this other guy a chance to make his apology or whatever.
If you have a partner or husband DO NOT under any circumstances meet this guy behind their back unless you are prepared to lose all you currently have.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2012): A guy I dated in high school contacted me through Facebook and he too wanted to apologize how he treated me. He said it was all his fault and that I did not deserve to be treated that way and he asked my forgiveness. He said I was his first love which shocked me. I never knew he felt that way about me.I was the one to break up with him because it was not working out. He seemed so angry all the time and I couldn't deal with it any longer. But, I never gave it much thought since the break up. I moved on with my life.He tells me on Facebook that I am stunning and he is always complimentary of me. His girlfriend of many years broke up with him so I counseled him through that via Facebook. I know he still has a crush on me.My ex-boyfriend never asked to see me in person.As long as the meet up is platonic as you intend it to be there is nothing wrong in with him.I will more than likely see my ex at our class reunion for the first time since high school graduation. I never went back to any reunions all these many years. Ironically I am now dating one of our classmates.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 August 2012):
 Are you married?
I guess guilt caught up to him? For some forgiveness is vital. I think he needs it from you. Why it HAS to be face to face I don't know. But I'm pretty sure his actions as a young dumb kid haunts him.
Why not meet him for coffee/lunch? I see nothing wrong it that as long as your spouse/partner (if you have one) knows and approves.
How will you get hurt again if all he does is chat and apologize? He is in a relationship. So either way he is off limits.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 August 2012):
 No I don't think he wants to get back with you or have a relationship with you, he is already in a committed relationship, just because she does not go to events with him does not mean that they are not serious about each other, maybe she just does not like social gatherings. It sounds to me like he feels bad for the way that he treated you all those years ago, he just abandoned you and never thought about contacting you to explain to you it was over. What he done was harsh and by his own admission he felt like an ass. My guess is that he feels bad for the way he treated you in his past, he can see now that what he done was wrong and cruel. My guess is that he wants to meet up with you to apologise so he can move forward and bury it in the past. I personally do not think it would be wise for you to meet up with this man, it has been so long and it was only a brief fling yet you still say you love him. For your own sake I think it would be best to leave him in the past where he belongs.
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