A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I had sexual relationship with my cousin for a a long time. We met in a city and we lived together like man and wife for five years. Only one of my brothers knew about it because we live in a city far away from home. After the 5 years each of us got married to another person but we continue to live nearby and her husband seems not suspicious. It is now more than 20 years since our relationship stopped but i still have sexual feelings for my cousin. I love my wife but even when we are playing sex, i find myself thinking about cousin. I still love her not like a cousin but lover. What can I do to turn these feelings off? I have lived under fear I may, one time, mention the cousin's name during sex with my wife or cousin's husband may come to know and tell my wife as payback!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWiseOwlE and two anonymous female readers, your advice is great. Thank you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2019): You're married, so you ignore them. Think with your head and not your penis!
Practice turning your thoughts away when fantasies play in your mind. Fantasies that rests too long in the thoughts, or take root in the imagination for constant revisiting; can make you talk in your sleep!
You have a wife who is giving you her love, trust, and a chunk of her life. You're concentrating on your lust outside your marriage...with a cousin! Something you felt necessary to hide. Well your marriage is not a secret, it's known to the world. Respect your vows to honor the woman you married, as you claim to love her! You're human, and you cannot help what pops into your mind. You can control what stays there!
It HAS been 20 years, and both your lives have gone different directions. Fantasize all you like, but honor your marriage, and take the feelings of your wife into consideration. She trusts you. You can deprive your unfaithful-penis of what it wants from someone other than your wife. You're mature enough in age to have reasonable control over your urges.
Well, I guess calling-out the wrong name won't happen if you constantly remind your penis to remember whose vagina it's in!
If your secret gets out, you'll be embarrassed; but it won't cause the same amount of shock it would have, if it had been discovered back then. You may have been spared by time. The gossip probably got out years ago. Those who knew kept it hush-hush; because nobody likes that kind of family-dirt/taboo to get-out into the public! I doubt such a secret never circulated as family-gossip, dear sir! In mention of it now, would probably stirrup old-memories!
Think about what havoc it would cause if your wife realized who you're thinking about during sex! Maybe it will neutralize your lustful-thoughts visualizing her chopping off your penis with a butcher's knife while you're asleep.
Keep dwelling on your memories of the past, and you'll attempt something foolish. Sin starts with a thought, and ends with hell!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2019): What happened to your relationship? Why did it end after 5 years and why did you both marry other people? Looks like you settled for your wife.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2019): I don't think you can 'turn off' feelings. But you can stop dwelling on them. It's like you know this relationship is wrong so you keep going over and over it in your mind and you won't let the feelings fade. You need to stop seeing your cousin in a social capacity as well. That won't help.
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