A
female
age
,
*aryB
writes:What is wrong with me- WHY can't I just let it go. It's been almost a yr. since I heard from my ex..the last time I heard from him was not a good conversation. His soon to be wife had been calling me 2 mths. prior but, I totally ignored the calls...I pretty much knew it was her as she made calls from my ex's home phone and his number would come up. One morning, a couple of mths. later she fooled me by calling from a different number so I ended up answering. She preceeded to tell me to leave my ex alone because they were getting married...when I asked her why she was calling me to tell me that since I had not spoken to my ex in almost 2 yrs. she responded by just saying "I just wanted you to know"! For whatever reason, I started to question why she would marry someone she hardly knew..they had just met and started dating 2 mths. before this phone call. She said because they were in love and that she knew him well enough. I then said good luck and hung up. Five minutes later my ex calls and screams into the phone to leave his fiancé alone and quit harassing her. I could not believe my ears..I tried to tell him that it had been her that was harassing me but, he didn't want to hear it. I hung up and have never heard from either since..9mths. The thing that confuses me the most is that my ex had just recently prior to meeting her had been living with the person he had left me for and I got the feeling that she knew nothing about that. Just a gut feeling. She then asked me what it was I thought she should know and I told her that she would find out soon enough! Mind you he is an alcoholic and life with him was not easy by any means. Yes, I loved him and we were together for 7 yrs. but, everyday was a struggle with the drinking, quick temper, affairs, betrayal and God only knows what else he did behind my back! Things he did are still trickling back to me after 3 yrs.I won't deny that a part of me will always love him! I have moments of feeling like it was just yesterday that he left me, feelings of wanting to know why he did what he did to me especially at the end and what does this woman have that I don't that he would marry her after only 2 mths but, it took 7 yrs for us to get to that point but, of course never happened and feelings of anger and wanting revenge. I still to this day cannot get past how someone can sleep next to you for so many yrs. and then walk away as if he never knew me.The reason why I am writing this is because I am so angry at myself right now..I was doing so good, living my life as best I could, a new grandbaby to shower with love and a daughter who is getting married at the end of this month and then out of the blue I run into my ex and all those sick feelings in my gut turns me upside down. I had heard he lost his job and had a new one now..well, isn't it my luck that it would be a business right around the corner from my daughter's home..unbelievable! Why after all this time, am I having all these emotions as if we were back on the day he ended our 7 yr. relationship and 1 mth. before we were to be married. Please, help me sort out these feelings before I loose my mind.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2013): I think its because your still suffering from a low self esteem. You don't love him (how could you after all he did) but the pain of rejection stings. Everytime you think about him you are reminded that this low life scum rejected you and that hurts your self esteem. I think the way forward is to learn to love yourself and see that your self worth isn't tied to what he or anyone else thinks.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): first off im sorry you are feeling this way. these feelings are tough to ignore, and they just dont go away. i too have been split up from my husband for a year and 7 months. divorced for 7 months. we will always love that person, why? i still ask myself that question. everyone says time heals but just when you think you are ok. something reminds you of a past memory and you are finding yourself back in the hurting mode. all i can say is try to be good to yourself you deserve that and try to move on the best that you can. hugs to you my friend
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): It's not always easy to get over a person you really loved. It takes time. I think each one of us has that one special person that stays in our heart and mind forever. I have one and so does my wife. What you have to do is work around it well enough for it not to crowd the relationships you can and will have in your future.
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