A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:** firstly all names are not real and are made up **Well, really this all started when i fell for my close friend... let's call him Nick. I went out with him for about 2 1/2 months (October through mid December). me and Nick had a really close relationship since we went to a 200 student body private christian school and we were the only "emos" there. we knew everything about each other. we almost had the same personality. he understood me as i did him. maybe a week and a half before Christmas break at school he started avoiding me. he wouldn't answer my calls or texts and only talked to me when absolutely necessary. then once the actual 3 week break occurred he kept no contact whatsoever with me. once we got back to school he was acting cruel whenever he was forced to converse. my friend... Samantha told me that he texted her over break that he liked her not me. she told me as soon as she got the chance since she did not know my number. anyways i went through January, February, and most of March experiencing the greatest pain I've ever felt (and if you were to know my history you would know it's a heck of a lot) i seriously considered suicide. then Nick asked me to talk to him. i was going to say no and i should have but i agreed. He took me to a solitary place and exclaimed that he never really liked Samantha that his friend played a trick on him and he had just found out. I knew from the beginning that he was lying but i forgave him. We then went out for a week before he broke up with me. Then only a week after that he started going out with my Best and closest friend in the world, Rachael. The pain of that nearly drowned me completely since i was completely in love with him. I have cried myself to sleep every night since then. it's been a year and I'm still not over him. not even a tiny bit. in fact, i think I'm more in love with him. the worst part is i was only with him for a very short period of time and i wonder what happened to make me feel this strongly about him. i not only lost a lover. but the only one that has ever understood me.thank you for taking the time to read this. i greatly appreciate it.
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female
reader, FireAndIce  +, writes (3 November 2009):
Shame luv! The reason you haven't gotten over him so far down the line is because, firstly, you felt as though he understood you. Most people gravitate towards and trully appreciate people that understand them. It's something we seek out as human being and when we find it, we're very reluctant to let it go.
Secondly, you don't really have any closure on the situation. Yes, he's dating your friend, but he didn't actually ever say the words 'I don't like you'. He didn't ever explain to you WHY he just suddenly dated your friend.
Unanswered questions likes 'why' can drive people crazy years down the line.
But here's the thing...he's young, a boy that age isn't in touch with his true emotions yet. And he's selfish. He has no regard for your feelings whatsoever. Of course, it feels like a double betrayal. He's dating your best friend AND HE'S someone you trusted and thought you knew.
I won't undermine how you feel because I remember what it was like being your age and I remember what things felt like.
But instead of missing him, get angry...look what he did to you. This boy doesn't deserve so much of your time, thought and energy. Maybe you feel as though he once did...but he's proven that he doesn't.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell For one i didn't realize sex was that popular around my age group... anyways i had no sex at all with him. not even making out. that's what i don't get. how could i still be in love with him if i didn't even let him touch me?
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A
male
reader, the bear +, writes (1 November 2009):
He understood you all right. Way more than you thought! He understood you to the point he evidently was able to have sex with you! A bona fide creep! And, in the process, did a real negative number on your head. Now, having realized that, how do you forget him? Another group of bf's to choose from always helps! And don't get involved sexually for many more years. Sex has this binding power on girls, less so for guys. Most - not all - guys younger than oh, say thirty, are only interested in wham, bam, thank you Mam, now I gotta scram. I'm not saying that's bad, but I am saying that's how the male animal is programmed - so we're capable of doing or saying ANYthing to get you in bed. And that seems to have happened to you. Be forwarned!
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