A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: I am a 16 year old male and a year ago I dated a girl who I believed had everything in common with me but after a while of us dating she had to move and the long distance destroyed our relationship it's been about a year now and I've tried dating other people but it seems that even now my mind is stuck on her. She ended it before because of the distance so I'm unsure what to think... Am I in love, if so what should I do?
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2015): You're being stubborn and torturing yourself. You haven't really tried dating anyone else. You pretend. You just go through the motions, and compare every girl you meet to her. That's not healthy at your age. When you decide to stop looking for a clone to take her place; and grow-up, you will move on.
She is your first real love, and what you are feeling happens to almost everyone sooner or later. You will get over her.
You're spending too much time sitting around moping and brooding; and not getting out to have fun. If you were busy with fun and activities; you'd be more distracted from your thoughts. You need to make friends, and date; even when you don't feel the same about any other girl as you felt for her. You'll never feel exactly the same for one girl as the last one. Most of what you've built-up in your memory about her, is your imagination making-up for your loss. It's grief. Like when someone dies. You feel bad because they're gone.
You're young; so you idolized her like an angel. She was a person; and other girls are equally as pretty, nice, and loving.
It takes forcing your mind to let go of the thoughts, and pushing yourself to like someone else for who they are. Not for how they compare to her. Stop looking for her replacement, and you will see things more clearly. The pain will also ease away.
|