A
male
age
,
*virgin7
writes:I am 47 and divorced. I have not had sex in 18 years and I'm thinking too hard. I'm dating but I can't figure out how to move us from a kiss in the living room to sex in the bedroom. (Sex in the living room would be even worse.) Is it as simple as taking her hand and leading her into the bedroom when the moment seems right?I would appreciate any help at all on this whole losing my virginity a second time thing.Take care
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 I've got a similar problem it's been 20 years for me but thanks to a good friend of ours, I've been able to remain in "the saddle" so to speak. Her husband quit on her about 15 years ago. I don't get it. Sex should be an intamate part of marriage not a once in a while thing.
A
male
reader, 4virgin7 +, writes (29 July 2010):
4virgin7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all your wise and sensitive thoughts.
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A
male
reader, Lookingforwisdom  +, writes (29 July 2010):
asdfg has got the idea. Don't try and immediately switch from a relaxed environment in the living room to sex in the bedroom. The first (and biggest) step is kissing and you've got over that stage. Start caressing her and make her feel attractive. Tell her that it has been a long time for you, otherwise you'll feel under pressure to live up to expectations. I know a man is meant to take the first step but I think that more applies to kissing than sex - once she's agreed to kiss you it becomes more of a mutual thing so just wait for her to indicate she is willing and then your natural senses should guide you home. I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, asdfg +, writes (29 July 2010):
My apologies if this does not seem too relevant since I am from a younger generation, but for us, here's kind of how it goes, at least in my personal experience.
1. Watching a movie, relaxing in bed, whatever.
2. Holding hands, maybe touching each other.
3. Kissing.
4. Making out, or prolonged kissing.
5. Petting (touching the genitals), or removal of clothes, or as you mentioned, taking him/her to the bedroom
6. Woo hoo! :)
I would just make sure you're doing things that lead up to the moment you take her to the bedroom, if that is how you decide you want things to happen, like those I listed above. Progress slowly, I would suggest, to make sure it's what she wants too so that you aren't rejected and end up feeling bad. I would give steps 1-5 at least 20 minutes before whisking her to bed.
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A
female
reader, Over..worried.  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 well you could lead her by the hand. Or well making out in the living room have her sit on your lap the end up getting up and carrying her to the bed room. Maybe even tell the girl your dating, that it's been a long time and maybe she will take control.
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