A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have posted on here before about a friendship I have had with this girl and we were friends for almost a year and had some good times together. She has had a permanent partner since I have known her but she has cheated on him more than once and our friendship has always been platonic although I did at first want it to be more than friends. We were always honest about this her boyfriend and I never got on and she always used to say do not text or call me if I am with him but the people she cheated on him with were allowed to contact her. We have fallen out over lots of different things but always made it up but this time we have fallen out because her parents are away on holiday so her boyfriend has pretty much moved in so I said to her means I wont be hearing from you over the next two weeks which she went mental about and have been fighting for the last four days now with it getting increasingly nasty. I found out she had been texting this other guy a lot that we both know and they were saying how much she wanted to be with him. he recently had a nasty fight with her boyfriend and they split for a couple of days I sat with her till late with her in tears supporting her over it and her saying how much she wanted to sort it out with him. I went mad over the texts and she said it was none of my business I said it is when I was the one supporting you. We are now no longer on speaking terms and if we do it just turns nasty we work together as well but wont see each other at work for about a week. She said I was jealous and trying to control her over the texts and interfere I was just so angry about them and how I had supported her. I had also sat up so many nights till early hours of the morning helping her with uni work and feel as though I have been betrayed by a friend. A lot of people say she is not worth being up set over and am better off without her in my life it has just so upset me and do not know if I am the one at fault here just feel so upset and confused by it all.---------[Mod note: Thank you for sending your question to Dear Cupid. In the future, could you make it easier for the readers by breaking this down into paragraphs - thus making it more "reader friendly" as we have done this for you]
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at work, jealous, moved in, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (17 April 2009):
 noo you're not at fault here not at all.seems like you are the one who makes all the effort and she just comes to you when she needs a friend but when you need someone it's like she doesn't want to know.you are better off with out her i mean she's telling you when to text her which is her boyfriend has any trust in her at all you should be able to just text and say hello how are you?i mean surely theres nothing suspicious about that.i mean Emilysanswers is right why are you sticking around?it is the hope that when it does all end in tears and your are there for her that she'll seek comfort in a friend and want to further your friendship?she's a bit upself to be honest and doesn't know how to treat her friends.you are better off out of that friendship you need to be friends with someone who you can text whenever and wherever and also someone YOU can seek comfort from.with her it seems like it's all about her and what she needs never what you need.Hope this helps :)
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 April 2009):
Yep, she's using you as an emotional crutch.
This friendship is all one way and I don't get why you are putting so much effort in. Why not just let it go?
You said you wanted to be more than friends and I get the feeling that the only reason you are sticking around is that you still want that.
It's clearly never going to happen so just leave it at this and find some new friends.
Good Luck!! xx
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