A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I My ex and I were going out for 5 years we hv 2 kids one 2 other is 9, from another guy. My Ex is 25 she went to las Vegas in november with her mom aunts and cousins, the last night she was there she met a person from Italy. They exchanged numbers, nothing physical happened. She comes bk home a different person I caught her uncharacteristically texting late at night I checked the cell records it was an Italy number. We broke up a week later. We've hung out a few time this past couple of months. Xmas she looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me kissed me had sex with me. I felt it was real. Xmas is now over she is continuing to text and talk and email this other person. She kisses me on the lips has sex with me few times a week. She says they had an emotional connection i wouldn't understand. She was given advise to go to Italy tk see if what she felt was real. She went to Italy this weekend and had a good 2 days there but then her Italian guy left her. She still had 3 days left on her answer seeking trip to italy. He left on a "business trip" . Shes home now heart broken because she realized her and her italian boy will not work. She claims to have really misse us and knows no one will love her like i do. I want her bk I love her soo much. I thought we were soulmates I was going to propose in early 2011. I already have the ring. What do I do? Help please.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (3 February 2011):
Hi there. I'm confused. You called her your ex.
So is it on or is it off? That's the bit I'm not clear on.
Now you are talking about getting engaged.
Are you trying to keep it together because of the kids? If that's the only reason, well it's the wrong reason.
You might be ready to take the next step - marriage - but I'm not all that sure that she is.
Don't go making any arrangements to tie the knot just yet, until you are absolutely sure of what's going on in her mind.
She doesn't sound too sure of what she wants at the moment.
She flew over to Italy to see some guy she briefly met in Las Vegas recently, it didn't work out so now she's back home again. Disappointed and hurt, but not really sure of what to do about her future. A bit lost.
Honestly, you both need to sit down and have a serious discussion about where you both want to go from here on in.
More than anything else, you both need to be sure you want the same things. At the moment, this is not clear.
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