A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok im having a horrible, horrible time here.... I have a husband that has Anxiety, Manic-Depressive, and Bi-polar.. Been through ups and downs for the past 5 years with my husband.. Gone through mental hospitals, suicides.. ect.Well for the past 2 yrs my husband has not taken his medication, and also refused to take his medication cause he thought he didnt need it. Everytime i would say something he would say i was just like the doctors and say " all he needs is drugs". Which brought me down, cause i was trying to make things better in our relationship, and help him also with his condition.. He could not sleep, his mind is constantly going. Iv tried to read up on these conditions to get advice.. It's very difficult. He has also very insecure, doesnt believe what i say, if i tell him he hurt me by saying this, he justifys it by saying well remember when you said this months ago. He has finacially drained us. We seperated about 3 1/2 months ago, he needs to find himself he says. Just about 3 months ago my high school sweet heart popped back in to my life.. We get a long great, talk, everything, very nice gentleman. Now my husband says he went to the ER got back on meds and got issued a therapist. My husband and i also have a son he will be 2 1/2 in April, I keep him during the week and my husband takes him on the weekends. Ok I have not recieved any money from my husband in 3 months. He says hes been focused on get a job where he is at, moving out of the current families house hes staying at, and he cant afford to help me with money day care ect..In the past 4 weeks my husband has seen our son 3 times ( 3 days). He has lied to me one weekend already about not having money to come pick his son up, but then come to find out he went out bar hopping. He see's no wrong, makes it very clear. He wants me to meet him half way to drop our son off to him. To me i dont think i should, i mean i want our son to see his daddy, but with how expensive things are these days, its hard when your taking care of a child by your self. Now my high school sweet heart has come in to my life its like what we had when we were dating at 17-18 is back and its 10 times fold.. We are actually grown up and both are so different, but we still have love and care for each other. I dont know what to do, i feel like if i give up on my husband i didnt do everything i could to save us, but sometimes i feel like im babysitting my husband and not having a marriage. Then i feel another way with this other person, but this other person is so laid back, go with the flow, ect.. Something im totally not use to, but its nice. Oh please someone help me, im so confused, would i be a horrible wife if i gave up on my marriage do to not being happy, and being un happy for a long time. I dont know.. I get butterflies and everything with my high school sweet heart, but dated him for 4 years a while back and it was that way with us all the time. Oh please can someone give me some advice.. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Thank you for your advise, its just so hard cause i dont have the money to go to councling do to my husband not helping me pay anything.. So im not sure what to do??
Thanks
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Thank you for the advice. I want to go to counseling, possibly to just see if someone can lead me in a different direction. I just don't have the money.. Like I said, my husband is not paying me anything or helping me in anyway right now.. So I really don't know what to do... Thats why I came to this website to see maybe if someone had some advice.. so thank you very much! I just wish I could do more and try to figure out things.. It's just very confusing, and hard. Thanks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): If you are not happy with your husband anymore it will be hard to make things work again, not impossible though but now you found someone else it will be even harder. I don't think it's fair what your husband is doing to you. My boyfriend is pretty much in the same condition than your husband, i know how hard it is to be in a relationship with someone like they, it's kind of exhausting cause you can never expect anything from them. Their meds and all that stuff sooner or later become something annoying and tiring to deal with, it's just like having a little kid. So i feel for you and yeah a counselor could help both of you before your relationship gets more damaged.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (3 February 2011):
This is a complicated situation so it is no surprise that you would feel confused about what to do, and I would say your best bet would be to see a counsellor or someone that you can take the time to talk this through and come to some clarity. That is the only real way for you to figure out what is right for you. The only advice I would give is for you to slow down with your high school sweet heart until you have decided whether you want to work things out with your husband or not. I know that you are separated, but the one thing you need to be clear on apart from anything else, is whether you think it is worth trying to make things work with your husband, or ending it with a sense of finality. This decision can take time, and you might not know what the future holds, but you can figure out what is right for you now, and that's a good place to start. Good luck.
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