A
female
age
41-50,
*iamia6
writes:I had a summer fling this summer. It was nothing more than sex. It was GREAT sex to be honest. And, of course, I did get attached to him. But, I knew going into it that it was just gonna be about sex and he is a player. Anyways, I ran into him 2 weeks after we last slept together and he was very cold and distant to me. This hurt my feelings because as I said, I had gotten attached to him. I vowed not to see him again after this. Well, it's been another 2 weeks and I so want to see him. I am going to be moving away permanently from this city very soon and I guess I am using that as my reason to see him again. Well, that and the fact that I have a CD of his I could return to him. I don't necessarily want to sleep with him again, I guess I just was hoping we could end things on a good note(not me thinking he's a jerk and him thinking I'm pissed at him).He works in a bar my friends and I frequent so I always have the opportunity to go there to see him. Do I swallow my pride and some of my self-respect in order to go see him one more time before I leave town? Or do I just move on, forget the guy, chalk it up to what it was--great sex, a summer fling--and never see him again? The thought of that hurts my heart a bit. :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): I think since he was cold and distant to you that it is best for you to keep your self-respect and leave the city without meeting him ever again. If he cared for you after that GREAT sensual experience HE should have been more complimentary with you. He cannot lose his self-respect by being polite and he didn't even bother.
A
female
reader, miamia6 +, writes (9 August 2009):
miamia6 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you ladies. I will consider your advice. It's just hard because he is part of a group of friends I like to hang out with, they are a lot of fun and was hoping for one more night out w/this group before I leave town...which may include him. I guess even if he is there I will just play it cool and go into it with zero expectations. I'm not good at faking though so I think I would have to say something to him about how he acted like an asshole last time I saw him. We'll see...
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 August 2009):
 Come on now. If he wanted to see you, he would. Don't go making up excuses to see a guy who clearly does not care about your opinion. Move on. Consider the CD a souvenir.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Swt Txn +, writes (9 August 2009):
One word ...YES
Regardless of if it started out as friends w/benefits or relationship, if someone is not interested.. Leave..
When someone tells you they are NOT interested in a relationship, that is exactly what they mean. It wouldn't be fair to them to be with you because that's what you want After he's already stated his desires from beginning.. It wouldn't be fair to you because your heart would continue to yearn for & desire his loyal attention & it won't be reciprocated.
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (9 August 2009):
 Are you serious?
It seems to me as if you already know what you have to do: leave him alone: fling= sex & sex does not = relationship!
A fling is just that: a fling. He obviously has NO interest in you as anything else. So let him be! Get it through your head, you can't have him! And stop frequenting the bar where he works, you're only making it harder for yourself.
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