A
female
age
30-35,
*nkoku
writes:I'm only 15 turning 16 and two months and I have a big problem. I did something so stupid I'll never be able to forgive myself every again. I met this 20 year old guy on a website and we really hit it off. We started "dating" the day we met. We talked on the phone and saw each other on web cam and stuff like that. We started talking about him coming down to see me since he only lives 7 hours away from me. Then 6 days after we met he IMs me and says "OMG babe you'll never going to believe it! My friend met a girl who lives near you and he wants to come down today!" At first I had no idea what to say, I was excited but at the same time I wasn't cause we had planned on meeting each other around summer and he staying with me and having my mom meet him and everything. But this seemed like just a great thing to do! So I said ok, I lied to my mother and m friends about what was happening and missed two days of school. He came to pick me up and we drove to a hotel with me him his friend and the other girl. But anyway everything seemed really fun and stuff, but then he started getting really handsy and the next thing I know I'm in the bath room leaning over the toilet havening sex. I told him to stop he doesn't have a condom and he did. So we did some other things. So anyway after we spent the night together i felt so cared for and loved. He told me I was beautiful and he never wanted to hurt me. Then when I got home my friends found out and they were pissed, they yelled at me and didn't talk to me for hours, until finally we got everything calmed down. But then I go online to the website we met and I see a comment on his profile and it said it was from his finance and said stuff like, "Now one knows where you are. Everyone's worried, if you know where he is I'm his finance and please PM me telling me where he is." So I did, because he spent the last 2 days with me, I was so pissed and felt so betrayed! So I told her everything, then I find out that he broke up with her 2 days after we met. So I felt bad that I didn't believe him, even though he did kinda cheat on her for two days but still. Then we find out that she, the old finance, told his mother where he was and what he did. And they were going to call the cops for him 'stealing' the car, because it was there car. So he went home and realized that they trashed his room and found weed in there. So he got kicked out and went to his friend's house. So I call him and we were talking and I found out he still loves this other girl! So they get back together and I'm alone. But then the next day my stomach starts to really hurt and I feel really dizzy, so then I start to get scared, what if I'm pregnant. I mean just because he didn't cum inside of me doesn't mean i may not be! So i tell him and he starts getting worried but is telling me that if I am he'll help out. But then I find out today that his friend hasn't seen him since 5am! Not to mention that I can't tell anyone anything because I don't want anyone to know. And It's the new semester at school and I'm failing because I've already missed so many days of school already! So I don't know what's going on anymore and I just feel like I'm neck deep in water and no matter which way I turn I'll drown. S do you have any advice to give a 16 year old who has no way to turn and is 5 minutes away from an emotional break down?
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female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 It's a while since anybody has commented, so I am just wondering how you are? Have you had your periods?
Don't be too hard on yourself, you wouldn't have gone to the room to play scrabble or something. Things just happened quicker than you expected that's all, cos he wanted it 'there and then'. That's how stranger sex happens - quickly. That's where the buzz is for people that's all. The key is to handle yourself safely, which you mistakingly didn't.
Yeah it's crappy, that it was unprotected, but at least he stopped when you said, so it's not all bad.
In a similar situation I did get the morning after pill, and 6 months later I got tests for STD which were OK.
I feel bad for you knowing that he cheated and all that went on, that's bad.
I suspect that the reason why your friends were angry was gos of your lies. No guy is worth skipping school over and lies to people. That would just get people suspicious, and give them reason to worry for your safety.
We all live and learn from our experiences.
Only tell your Mum if you actually have to. I am not encouraging you to lie, but sometimes it doesn't help if they know all our mistakes, and you would know they would have a right go at you.
Take care.
Fiona.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 February 2008):
 Just sit tight and do not tell anyone about this affair until your period comes or you missed it.Get a hold of yourself. If your period arrives, then you are not pregnant.
You may not be pregnant and it is the fear that is causing you sleepless nights.
If you miss your periods by a week, get a pregnancy test. Do another test on the 2nd week to confirmed if you are pregnant or not. If confirmed pregnant , then only you tell your mom.
If you feel unwell in the next few days , go see your GP .
Watch for any symptoms of STD because you had unprotected sex.
You can read more of STD on this link;-
http://www.medicinenet.com/sexually_transmitted_diseases_stds_in_women/article.htm
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A
female
reader, Jargenhunter +, writes (24 February 2008):
I know you must be so scared, and it is okay to feel that way. Many people have advised you to tell your mother, and they make a good point, but I understand too that sometimes it is not an option (they would disown you or something like that). If this is the case, I would recommend going to Planned Parenthood or some similar clinic, preferable far from your home and talk with a counselor. Let them know what happened, you do no need to mention names or anything like that, and ask them for your options. The clinic should be able to give you a pregnancy test and test you for STDs and STIs. Since you are under 18, the laws in your state may restrict what you can and cannot do, the counselors at the clinic should know what to do.
If you are pregnant, you should talk to your parents and take into account all your options. The relationship you had with this man was highly dysfunctional (seems like wedding jitters turning into a serious problem) and you need to be real with how he can care for your child. Try not to be pressured by clinicians, parents, etc as to what you should do (hence why I recommended the impartial Planned Parenthood) and do what is best for you.
Good Luck and I hope this helps!
Amanda Roberts
Wordscrawl.com
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A
female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (23 February 2008):
Oh sweetie this man just wanted to use you. You are so young and with your whole life ahead of you. The thing is with internet stuff at your age you are so prone to these predators. What if instead of being 20 he turned out to be forty. Relax. You did the right thing in telling his fiance what happened. Basically his intentions were to screw you and if you didn't pipe up and say no to the no condom thing he may have done far worse to you ie unwanted sexual acts with him or even group stuff. Did you drink alcohol? You are lucky he did not drug you with valium or rohypnol. I am sure there would be a youth counselling service or family planning centre in your area that you can talk to if mum is not someone you can talk to. The pain in your abdomen may be as a result of the sexual encounter particularly if there was no foreplay. Also can be a sign of clamydia or gonorrhoea or pelvic inflammatory disease which is abdo pain during and after sex. Get yourself tested not for pregnancy but for std's as you have no idea how many other young girls this man has preyed on. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember you are a beautiful person worthy of love and respect. What happened does not mean your whole life will be judged on this one event. Count your blessings that you are alive to tell your story. Anything could have happened. Take care and get some counselling for your own safety.
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A
female
reader, jace_mr.muffles  +, writes (23 February 2008):
hey even though i dont know how hard you really feel right now im here supporting you i say tell everything what happen to your closest friend or even your mom and if they really love you and they care for you they'll understand and support you all the way one thing though if you do have a baby dont kill it cheerish it if you do you'll regret it and who knows God works differently in all of us he knows what going to happen before you do it but i know he's always there for you even that bastard (sorry to called him that but i think he deserves it LOL) is not. and this problem will make you a better person bcuz the next time this happens you'll know what the right thing to do. LIFE IS A LESSON YOU'LL LEARN IT WHEN YOUR THROUGH --- that's a lyrics from the song and i believe it --- im really sorry bout what happen and you should really consider about what i said A STRANGER ;P ,CHARM
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): It's time to tell your mother what happened. If you were really serious about wanting her to meet him you seem to have enough confidence in her. Tell her right away! Really!
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