| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I fell in love with someone, Becky, and it was an immediate love, love at first sight, as some may call it. I became obsessed and started asking around about them. I told the person how I felt... they thought it was strange, becuase I didn't really know them, but I just couldn't give up talking to them, even after they threatened to go to the police. I'd write poems for them and do anything... just to talk to them. I started getting suicidal over them because I cared so much, and she hated me. One night I wrote one last thing to her, telling her how I loved her and even though she hated me, I'd still love her... and all that love junk. So I guess that was the final thing that set her to start talking to me... we started talking more after that... One night, she said she was going for a walk... and I went with her... people were out looking for us, we are young... and her older sister and mom and family... hate me, and they didn't know we had been talking and when I got home, right as I turned on the computer, her sister was sending me messages asking me when we started talking and what not. Time passed we had a couple more walks, and we talked more, due to the fact that my best friend lived in her apartment buildings and I went over there every day to see her. So by summer time we were sneaking out and spending the night in random fields and getting brought home in the morning by the police and just doing crazy things to see each other. I loved her so much, but the thing I didn't know, was she loved me too. I was with someone, in a serious relationship, and she knew this, but she knew I didn't love them. She went away for three weeks during the summer, longest 3 weeks of my life, we talked every night all night on the phone, and she told me she loved me one of those nights. I have the date written down but I don't know it right now. So when she came back we saw each other, not a lot, but we did, and we were still in love... School started this year and it was weird becuase only our close friends knew about us, so we didn't talk a lot. Then she started changing, like smoking and drinking, things she never used to do, and went out with her ex. I wanted to die. Even though I was with someone too. I got drunk and told her I hated her, but I don't remember doing it. And after that I didn't talk to her anymore for a while, until she became friends with my sister and started hanging out wit us. We miraculously started talking again and wrote each other a note saying everything. Turns out when I told her I hated her she didn't know what to do, she was so mad what she did to me and that's why she wanted to get pregnant to have someone to love her like I did. She would risk her life just to have someone a little bit like me.Within the next week, I got drunk and asked her out... (drunk words are sober thoughts.) So we went out, we were in love, together a lot, but for some reason we started seperating again. I was still with someone else and at my party on New Years they were both there. That was the night of out first kiss, and also the night when I made out with her best friend... so yea. I screwed up big time. I didnt know who to kiss at midnight, so I didn't, but it ended up being Becky like 2 min. after midnight when everyone left the room. We grew apart, she got drunk and hooked up with her ex, we got in a ''fight'', we got drunk together, and it all came out... then it was O.K. but it hurt so bad being with her for some reason. I love her too much, and we slowly seperated... by stopping talking, and we've stopped talking for like a month, and it's been one of the worst in my life. It hurts so much not having her. I still think about her every minute... and she still takes my breath away when I see her and my heart skips a beat... and I get chills. I feel like I wanna take pain killers to make it go away, but no matter how many I take it'll always be there. I feel like I need to escape from it all, and I have no more reason to live without her. My sister seems to think I'm depressed. Maybe I am, but the one thing I know I am is heartbroken, and I want my love back, but I'm too scared to even talk to her. Too scared to take a chance, after all that we've been through...
View related questions:
best friend, depressed, drunk, fell in love, heartbroken, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): she doesn't want to be with you. She's messing with her ex, she's not worth it. Find someone that wants to be with you - they will come when you are not expecting it - trust me
|
