| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend of a few months has completely snubbed me and I don't know what to do. We were in a difficult situation and got close very fast (She is 20, I'm 30 and she is my friends ex girlfriend so nobody knew about it). Then suddenly things went strange for a number of reasons: A) The difficult secretive situation B) She is very young, not really sure if she’s really been in love before C) She is very insecure and told me some personal things when drunk D) I was a bit of a dick one night when drunk, I have apologized but we haven’t really seen each other since E) I think basically all of the above mixed in with a lot of insecurity has just flipped her out and she has completely cut off without a word and just goes out every night with friends. I saw her out the other night and she pretty much ignored me, giving me the odd strange/awkward glance and looked pissed off I was having a good time.I have written to her basically saying all I want to do is have a talk, I don’t have any hard feelings etc just don’t want to end up hating each other but she just says she’s too busy or tired to meet. So what should I do? I get the feeling the more I push the more she will say no but it just seems so unhealthy/immature not to talk about it. I guess all I can do is wait until I happen to see her out and try and talk? Its hard when your left in your own mind without knowing what the heck happened though. I really really care about her but I now realize that if my friend found out he would lose all respect for me so I don’t want to reconcile just don’t want to end on such a bad note, really just want to be friends as I think shes a great person. What should I do?
View related questions:
drunk, ex girlfriend, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2006): Sounds to me you have done something wrong enough for her to behaving this way. Friends ex's are viewed as "off limits" to me because of the complications that can sometimes be involved.She's either hurt and hasn't forgiven you or simply doesn't want anything to do with you. Either way she obviously needs her space. You've said you wrote a letter expressing your feelings. Did it include everything you wanted to say? If not perhaps another one that does would be good (that includes the gact that you need closure on what went wrong). Then just leave it at that. The ball's in her court then and she can decide what she wants to do. I know its very difficult to walk away from a situation where there is still the "unknown" factor. It's hard when you can't understand it and are just left hanging - dumbfounded - as to what just happened. It would make it easier if you knew the exact reasons as long as thats all you're asking for, even if she's decided she doesn't want anything to do with you. If she doesn't give you what you need she could be within her rights - i don't know what you were a "dick" about exactly - but if thats the way it goes all you can do is analyse where you think it might have gone wrong and try to learn from it. I hope she chooses to give you reasons for closure. I think it is very unfair not to tell some one where they went wrong - as it leaves no room for improvement. Regardless of whether she does or doesn't want to see you any more I think she should at least let you in on the reason/s.Good luck with it!!
|
